Dear Team

Jane, whom we met last week has just arrived at our Kids United Home and she is checking out her room and settling in.  She visited us on Tuesday and after 6 hours, decided that she wanted to be a part of our residential programme. She told us that our home felt peaceful and friendly and she felt safe.  Initially she was shy and quiet but after a while she started laughing at the antics of some of the other children who were trying to get her attention. She loosened up and was more of herself which meant that as she put her guard down she behaved just like the 11 year old she is. 

An 11 year old who wanted to make friends; an 11 year old who needed the protection of adults but also the affirmation of her peers. As  all the children were walking back after dinner at a nearby hawker centre, Jane followed a couple of other kids who wanted to tease the staff by walking in an opposite direction. We were very familiar with the teasing from our children but were a tat concerned that Jane went along with them.  For a split second it was tempting to think that all negative comments in those reports about Jane were going to materialise before our eyes.

We followed Jane and the other children for a short distance but as it turned out, they just took a slightly longer route to reach home. At the home, Jane spoke to us. She was actually very concerned that her little prank would mean that we would not accept her into the home. She apologised and explained that the other children wanted to show her that the staff did care and having a little fun with the staff was ok. She added that she followed them because she wanted to make friends.

She did not say it but we think she also wanted to check out how we would react to her little prank. When we asked her if she really wanted to join the home, she must have felt a little threatened and pleaded with us to allow her to do so.  It was  a little sad for us to see the vulnerable side of Jane but we are grateful that the incident reminded us that  'Children are not little adults; they are to be treated as children and not by adult standards.'

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard     

Without friends no one would choose to live, though he had all other goods.  - Aristotle

Dear Team

We have temporarily converted an activity room at our Sembawang premises into a dormitory to welcome and host a 24 strong children's choir from the Philippines. These children are from Tala which is  about
18 miles east of Manila City.  Tala is a community of 15,000 people who live with the stigma of once being a town that housed  people with leprosy.

Despite their difficult circumstances, these children have excelled as members of a choir and are here to perform at the MILK Dinner which will be held next Wednesday. These children are beneficiaries of MILK's food and education programmes in the Philippines but they will bring to Singapore, their Gift of Song. We will as a good host should, convey to them how grateful we are for their assistance at the dinner and how delighted we are with the pleasure of their company. The larders have been stocked up and the campbeds have been set up with pillows and blankets in coordinated colours and I must say that all who have been helping out have done a fantastic job. Thanks everyone.

The children in our Programmes are also looking forward to meeting our guests. Our children will welcome them when they arrive on Monday and several joint programmes have been lined up. This is also a rare and wonderful opportunity for our children to be interacting with peers from overseas. It looks like it is going to be a week of fun and it we are hoping that it could also be a week where all these children forget that they are beneficiaries of welfare programmes.

One of the loveliest things about our job is the opportunity to see hope when there is seemingly none. These children from Tala are performing at the Shangri-La because some people in the Philippines saw beyond their unfortunate circumstances and believed that like all of us, these children have potential.

Yesterday,  we met with one of the orphans that I spoke about last week. Prior to the meeting our picture of her was from reports that described her as defiant, aggressive, insecure, unwanted and basically other descriptions that made us a little apprehensive :) about the meeting. Thus, our pre-meeting strategy was  to establish contact and get out before we outgrew our welcome but we ended up having a lovely conversation with her for more than 2 hours. We even worked on an eco-map that listed all the important people in her life and we shared her pain when she instructed us to draw her father and mother in the map as well. Despite having passed away, mom and dad were an important part of her life whom she drew strength from. She also shared that she missed her sisters and described to us various important people in her life. 

The reports we received about this orphan were factual and accurate but then like I said,  one of the loveliest things about our job is the opportunity to see hope when there is seemingly none.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

When it is dark enough, you can see the stars. - Charles A Beard

Dear Team

We received 2 requests this week to admit  orphans in our Kids United Home. The parents of these children have passed away from illness and from what was presented to us, their situation looked rather bleak. We feel for these children and would certainly like to see how we can be of assistance. However, by simply rushing in to 'take over', we run the risk of further marginalising them from whatever support or resources within their extended family or natural support networks.

Natural support networks have to be the preferred longer-term solution for such children. Hence, I was very encouraged when I was reviewing the profiles of some children in our Daily Care Programme and came across 3 orphans from 2 families who were living with relatives. These children are coping in school and regard their care-givers as family.  Their care-givers have challenges of their own but yet it would be unthinkable for them to 'release' their ward when the going gets tough. One of these orphans is with a relative who has a disabled child of her own while the other 2 are living with an aunt and grandmother who have little financial resources.

There are bonds and a strong sense of responsibility within natural support networks. Our job is to enhance them and not to compete with them. If you think about it, we can never really compete. Often, children's homes and foster parents release the children under their care back to the State when they feel that they cannot cope with them.  "Sorry, these children are beyond us - let someone else try" may not be an easy thing to say but it is frequently said. I am not questioning the commitment or know-how of helping professionals like us but simply highlighting the limitations of a helping system.

Despite its limitations, the professional helping system is often perceived as the preferred solution for the problems of the people. In the context of children's homes, there are 3 scenarios:
1. The families delegate the care and guidance of their children to the professionals because they are 'helpless'. The professionals then take over believing that they can improve the situation;
2.  The families compete with the professionals and challenge their methods because they have been continually told that their efforts are not good enough or that they lack parenting know-how &
3. The families and professionals work collaboratively in the best interest of their children.

For us, we are mindful that scenario 3 offers the best possibility of facilitating a sustainable longer-term solution for the troubled children that come our way. Of course, it is easier said than done but we have started thinking about methods that reinstate and respect the role of the family in the children's lives especially when they are under our care. We need to find ways where parental rights are respected and family members assist professionals like us with their wisdom, practices and know-how with regards to the care of their children.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

You don't really understand human nature unless you know why a child on a merry-go-round will wave at his parents every time around - and why his parents will always wave back.  ~William D. Tammeus

Dear Team

Annabelle, Anees, Ethan, Lena and I facilitated a workshop on Talking Circles at a Professional Seminar on Group Work. The Talking Circle is a simple process that operates on the assumption that everyone has something important to contribute to a discussion and our responsibility as facilitators or Circle Keepers is to 'protect' the space that allows this.  As I was preparing for this workshop, I wondered if participants may leave the session feeling a little short-changed as we had no impressive 'tricks' to share and our emphasis on keeping the facilitator out of the limelight may not go down well with those accustomed to a more 'active' way of leading and running groups.

Anyway, we spent most of the session giving participants the experience of participating in a Talking Circle.  At the end of 2 1/2 hours, we were heartened to hear one participant say that she found the Talking Circles to be a powerful process for reflection. The process required her to speak only when it was her turn and she found  her views changing or enriched as she  listened to other members in her Circle.

This opportunity also got me thinking about the value of working with groups. I concluded that it was not so much about cost effectiveness or sending the same message to different people. Rather, it is about getting people to believe that they can make a difference if they work together with and for each other.  They do not necessarily have to work for their group facilitator. 

Facilitators like us are professionals who often have an agenda entrusted upon us by our organisations. We get  a group going because we feel its members need guidance of some sort. While we have the authority to get everyone into the same room, we seldom get anyone on the same page as us.  If we continually operate only on the basis of authority, we will find ourselves performing painful and meaningless work.

Group Work begins with humility. When we come face to face with 7 others, it makes not much sense to believe that we can be immediately accepted as their leader or that our views and agenda take precedence over theirs. The relationships these members form among themselves are also more important than the relationship they will form with us because we cannot serve them indefinitely.  If we do so, we will only be creating and encouraging dependency.  

It is ironical that young people are often referred to social services because their natural support networks are deemed to be dysfunctional. The experts like us shield them from their unfavourable situation by keeping them in all sorts of programmes that aim to 'heal' them. Then at some point in time, we deem that they are no longer our responsibility and we return them to their natural support networks where they are supposed to cope usually because they have 'come of age'. 

Professionals like us often believe that their families and natural support networks are the source of young people's problems. It is definitely more helpful to view families and natural support networks as part of the solution and to engage them from the onset so that they will allow us into their Life Worlds. Unless we can honestly appreciate and work with the resources in their Life Worlds, we will never be successful in facilitating sustainable change.

I am grateful for the opportunity to share our work at this Professional Seminar organised by Students Care Service as it provided me the opportunity to pause for a thought about the work we do.  I now encourage all of us to see Group Work whether structured or on the streets,  as a pathway into the Life Worlds of the young people we serve.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

Ethics cannot be based upon our obligations toward [people], but they are complete and natural only when we feel this Reverence for Life and the desire to have compassion for and to help all creatures insofar as it is in our power. I think that this ethic will become more and more recognized because of its great naturalness and because it is the foundation of a true humanism toward which we must strive if our culture is to become truly ethical. - Albert Schweitzer

Dear Team
It is Teachers' Day weekend and with the help of Khairun and the other Community Workers at our Healthy Start  Programme I am sharing with you some of their efforts which have made a difference for our children and their families.

At a recent Parent Teacher Meeting, a mother was visibly touched as she browsed through her 5 year old child's portfolio. She was really happy to see her child accomplishing and expressed her gratefulness to Aida the teacher.  Gently, Aida reminded her that she played a big role in her child's success. Despite the family being evicted from their home, her child did not miss a day at school because she ensured her child got there. Aida stressed to this mother that her child's progress was due to her perseverance and reinforced the point by highlighting that she had to take 2 buses to get her child to school. Aida's comments meant a lot to this mother and in between tears of appreciation, she related how she also instructed her child's older siblings to read to her since she herself was illiterate.

I really liked the way Aida honoured the mother's role and efforts. Education of the child must be a home-school partnership and the lesson of a mother's love is not one that any of us could teach. Despite not having the 3 Rs, this mother played the role of being the first educator in her child's life.

Our teachers diligently ensure that the children are not sick or being troubled by minor ailments such as head lice. Illness disrupts both the child's schooling and their parent's  performance at work. Most of our children's parents hold daily-rated jobs and attending to their child during work hours would mean that their salary for the day will be affected. Hence, wherever possible, our teachers will attend to the child until alternative care arrangements have been sorted out.
 
Our teachers appreciate the difficulties the families of our children face and so support extends beyond the classroom and often into their homes.  One morning, Khairun was trying to help a mother of 6 to get 4 of her children to school.  The children aged 3 to 6 years old decided that Khairun would be a good referee for a water fight. They were splashing water everywhere and running around the flat happily. Khairun had to phone the teachers for help. Hui Huang arrived within minutes and the children left for school within 15 minutes.

Also, sometimes when the children cannot come to the classroom, the classroom goes to them. Meiyi conducted lessons for 2 brothers who were down with impetigo. Their parents were grateful and appreciative that their boys were still doing schoolwork despite not being physically in school. As for the boys, they thought that it was so cool that their teacher and parents were together in the same room fussing over them.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

“To learn and never be filled, is wisdom; to teach and never be weary, is love.”

Dear Team

Kaye. 13 years old was picked up by the police last night but has just been released because they felt that Kaye was a ‘social’ problem and not a ‘criminal’ one. We are really grateful that the police have taken such a view as it means we are given yet another opportunity to help Kaye steer away from institutional care and remained cared for in the community.

Recently, we arranged for Kaye to be cared for by a well meaning family who was concerned for Kaye’s well being. Kaye had been on the run for more than 2 months, loitering at parks and bunking in with friends, some of whom he had just met. He was picked up by the police more than once for various misdemeanours. Kaye’s father has been incarcerated and his natural family support arrangements have broken down. Thus, we arranged temporary foster care for Kaye so that we could have some time to reconnect him to his natural family network. Now that he is not fully co-operating with his foster family, the risk factors on the street remain high but perhaps the biggest risk for Kaye is the view that professionals like us are likely to take in such a situation. We will have the tendency to subscribe to the view that it would be in Kaye’s best interest to be institutionalised so that his self-destructive behaviours can be managed.

This week, we were introduced to Systemic Constellation Work as a way of widening our perspective of ‘dead-end’ situations like Kaye’s. After identifying the key players in Kaye’s life world, the caseworker sought the assistance of his team-mates to represent each of these key players. The case worker then placed or ‘constellated’ these players around the room according to his view of the relationship distance between Kaye and them. Thus, the system of relationships in Kaye’s life world became immediately visual for the caseworker.

With Professor Heiko’s facilitation, each of these player’s elaborated on what they were experiencing standing in their position. Their perceptions, feelings or comments challenged the caseworker to embrace views that the caseworker had not heard before or had not been sensitive to. With each new piece of information, new ideas for action emerged and slowly it no longer seemed like a dead end. Of course, the pieces of information from the team-mates in role were only their construction of reality i.e. their truth and not the truth but they provoked positive action that would reduce the risk of Kaye being institutionalised.

As helping professionals, our logic no matter how well intentioned is not the logic of those we served. For example, it would not be uncommon for us to assess that Kaye’s problem is the bad company he keeps. His so-called friends with all their unhealthy habits will be the ruin of him. In the constellation assessment, the team-mate playing one of Kaye’s friend actually described how he saw Kaye being neglected or bullied by the adults who claimed to care for him and he felt compelled to pull Kaye away from all of them. He wanted to protect Kaye.

Hmm…didn’t I hear the case worker say that as well?

Enjoy your weekend!

Gerard

I know that you believe you understand what you think I said, but I'm not sure you realize that what you heard is not what I meant.”
Robert McCloskey

Dear Team

Many of us would like to think that ‘compassion’ is our driving force as we go about serving those in need. This week, on Day One of our 2 week Certificate in Case Management Programme conducted in association with the Potsdam University of Applied Sciences Germany, 60 of us were challenged to reflect deeply on ‘What is Help, why we do it and what are the ill-effects of our efforts?’ In the process, we differentiated between help that is professionally organized and help that is inherent among the natural support networks of those we serve or what we call their Life Worlds. We received a huge helpful dose of humility as we realized how compassion can be lost within a professionally organized helping system of which we are a part of.

Professional Helping Systems are organized with the best of intentions and they are an expression of society’s concern for its less fortunate members. People like us are employed to fulfil various helpful roles within the system but over time, there is a tendency for us to be concerned only with the specific role or task we play and to stop thinking about how the system or our approaches could be creating problems for the very person we seek to help. Perhaps, we feel it is not within our power to change things but then such a stance perpetuates an unhelpful situation.

I guess if we want to fulfil our role as members of a professional helping system with integrity, we must be brave enough to look squarely at the paradoxes and ill-effects of our efforts. There are no straightforward solutions and easy answers but it starts with an awareness of our limitations, it starts with the humility that we strive to do ‘good’ we inevitably do ‘harm’ too.

When we impress the little children in our homes with our polite and democratic ways of dealing with them, they may start to devalue the ways of their family. The failures of their parents or care-givers become obvious and the efforts of their parents are devalued.

Another example is when someone concludes that social workers are a dependable bunch, they start building a support network of helping professionals to replace their relatives, friends and neighbours. This weakens his natural support network. Finally, sheltered programmes that are created to nurture those with special needs will exclude its participants from mainstream society if they remain sheltered for too long.

These examples show that even professional efforts have drawbacks and we as professionals could perhaps be a whole lot more understanding and accepting of the inadequacies we see in those who we aim to help. Life just ain’t that neat!

Enjoy your weekend!
Gerard

Anyone who proposes to do good must not expect people to roll stones out of his way, but must accept his lot calmly if they even roll a few more upon it. - Albert Schweitzer

Dear Team
Baby G will remain in hospital for another 3 weeks but the good news is that his condition is stable and a brain scan has showed that all is well. Thanks everyone who sent their best wishes and expressed their concern. We are now helping  his grandmother as she makes preparations to welcome him to her home. This also means  ensuring that the well being of the other children she is looking after is not compromised.

Over the past 6 months or so, we have been assisting the Child Protection and Child Welfare with children who no longer need State supervision. Our job is to reintegrate these children back to their families or their natural support network. These children are no longer deemed to be at risk of abuse or neglect but they hardly have any ties with their family or natural support networks.

It saddens me when I hear about an 11 year old who does not realise that his care-giver is a foster parent and he has never met his mother or family even though they are around. The child's natural support network is no longer deemed to be neglectful but it is obviously quite a task to re-establish family ties.

As we endeavour to protect children, we have to value the family’s role and say with regards to the safety and care of their children and work at involving them right from the start and as often as possible. Otherwise, in the longer run children run the risk of being estranged from their families. Hence, we are grateful that where Baby G is concerned, we have been given the opportunity to work at strengthening the abilities of family members and others in his support network. By doing so, we will be enhancing the protective factors necessary for his well-being in the longer run.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

"Govern a family as you would cook a small fish - very gently."
-- Chinese Proverb

Dear Team

Let us all fervently wish Baby G who is 3 weeks old and down with meningitis  a speedy recovery. He was fine yesterday and would have returned home to his aunt and grandparents today if the bug did not strike. Baby G has not left the hospital since his birthday because he was suffering from drug withdrawal symptoms. The symptoms cleared after a few days and he was an average 3kg baby waiting for his family to take him home.

Understandably, the Child Welfare Department was of the view that his mother would be unable to care for him and arranged for him to be with his aunt and grandparents who live in a 2 room rental flat near our office. However, when they visited the household, they found 4 other children below 4 years old living there and these children were not in any early childhood education programme. Thus, aunt and grans were told that Baby G could only come home when these children were placed in a programme.

Child Welfare had the best interest of Baby G and these 4 children at heart. Unfortunately, the family felt slighted and kicked up a fuss which made them appear resistant and uncooperative. Such situations are not about who is right or wrong but about facilitating mutual trust, understanding and respect among all stakeholders.

When we visited the family we learnt that they already had plans to register the oldest child in Kindergarten and they had intentionally kept all children at home because there were 3 adult givers who took turns to inculcate in them the values and customs of their culture. It was important for the family that these children were familiar with their traditional rituals as well as the stories that conveyed values such as respect, co-operation, kindness and family love. They firmly believed that value education was the bedrock of all learning. The adult care-givers also shared their household budget with us and revealed how they intended to provide and care for Baby G.

We were convinced that Baby G will be well cared for in this family and so we arranged for Child Welfare to visit the family again and facilitated a conversation. We also presented our views  to their management and eventually all stakeholders agreed that Baby G's best interest would be served by being with this family.

Now, we can only hope that Baby G leaves the hospital fully recovered. It will be a 'long' weekend for Baby G's family and our colleagues on this case. Wish them strength.

Gerard

"Every baby born into the world is a finer one than the last” - Charles Dickens

Dear Team

As you would have noticed, we receive lots of donations in kind regularly. Furniture, food, household appliances, books and so forth. Without asking, these donations come to us on an ongoing basis and we had our regular supply this week. These items are then either used at our facilities or redistributed to the families we serve. We also have some volunteers who are in touch with needy families and neighbourhoods and they help us get these donations to them.

Some amount of effort and resources are needed for such arrangements and sometimes some of us wonder if such efforts are the best use of resources. With the bargains offered at the Great Singapore Sale, are hand-me-downs or pre-loved items relevant?

This week we had a generous offer from  well-intentioned members of the public to replace the furniture at one of our facilities. I am not sure if they have been shopping at the Great Singapore Sale but they were giving us really nice furniture they no longer needed as they really wanted to give the children we serve something nice. This is really commendable on their part.

These people went about their task very enthusiastically and although we were very grateful for their initiative, we had to slow them down when they wanted to throw out some of our existing furniture. These included a sofa that did not blend in and some tables which we had made from scrap wood. No, we were not sentimental about these items but tactfully we shared with them how such an action would go against the values and lessons we have been trying to get our children to catch on to.

Firstly, the table top which was once a door is a lesson in possibilities. What was not needed or no longer functional can be still useful and functional if we are able to accept its imperfections and to shower it with some love in a different direction. Hmmm....come to think of it, isn't it very much the same with people? 

Next, we are always encouraging our children and families to accept hand-me-downs as long as they find them useful and not to waste resources. It would seem rather hypocritical of us then to discard stuff that is still useful and simply because they no longer seem pretty.

I mentioned that the effort of these well-wishers were commendable because they wanted 'the best' for our children. They did not treat our children or us as 'beggars who have no right of choice' but went out of their way to give us choice items.  However, I am very glad we honestly discussed our concerns with them as it strengthened the partnership between us. After our conversation, they were very mindful that a glass table they wanted to give us may not be appropriate for children's use and they also tried to see how our existing furniture could blend in with theirs. Most importantly, they reassured us that as they help us improve our facility they will remind our children to always give away what they do not need to someone else who may need them more.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

We are not to throw away those things which can benefit our neighbour. Goods are called good because they can be used for good: they are instruments for good, in the hands of those who use them properly.
-- Clement of Alexandria (150-216)

Dear Team
We facilitated a dialogue between teachers and 20 students who came from 4 different schools. These students were undergoing a 10 day 'Time-out' programme where they reported to the community centre instead of school. These 4 schools pooled their resources to help these students pick up study skills and to build their self-confidence. It was a commendable effort from the schools for attempting different ways of engaging and motivating these students who were deemed to be having difficulty coping with school.

The programme included classroom activities, workshops and experiential learning such as rock climbing. It was heartening to see such effort from schools and so we agreed to support their initiative when they invited us to help with one session. We were asked to be there on the 1st day and so we thought that it would be appropriate to create a context for mutual understanding. We were also careful that such a dialogue did not turn into a 'complaining' session and so to set participants in a more 'pro-active' frame of mind, we named the session the Co-operation Cafe.

We got participants into tables of 4 persons and served them refreshments as we got them to ponder and discuss the following questions:

1. Why do people lose interest in schools?
2. What can schools do to help people stay interested?
3. What can students do to make schools more interesting places?

The questions were tackled one at a time and participants had different discussion partners for each question. When we were 'harvesting' the different discussions that took place,  many admitted that question 3 was the most difficult question to answer. We highlighted that perhaps when we are stuck in a problematic situation, we seldom see ourselves as part of the solution or part of the problem. I am not sure how many of the students fully understood the comment but the adults were nodding in agreement. In any case regardless of how old we are, problem solving and cooperation requires us to be the adult.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard
We can be wise only together - Margaret J. Wheatley

Dear Team
So the run is finally here. After last Saturday's story of our runner Khai in the newspapers, another thousand odd runners signed up. Khai did remarkably well in last year's run and his story about how running got his life back on track is inspiring. More importantly, Khai has been a positive role model to the other young people in his neighbourhood and 2 of his younger siblings. His siblings have started training with him and started going back to school. Khai is their hero and they are doing their best not to disappoint him.

Sometimes we do not really notice how important our activities are to these young people. We have been getting this run going for 8 years now and run training is just another activity on our calendar.  When we visited Khai at home last week we noticed the name tags from last year's run being laid out to dry in the kitchen. After a while, we realised that they belonged to his siblings who participated in our trial run. They were drying them out for keepsake.

As part of our preparations for this Sunday's event, we organised 2 trial runs to familiarise our runners with the route and for our race officials to get some practice. For realism, last year's name tags were given out to participants. For us it was just a logical and useful way of  clearing out the 'junk' in our store but apparently the tag meant a lot to Khai's siblings. It represented an achievement, a happy memory and perhaps it marked a personal milestone.

When I heard about this, I was reminded of a tourist who signed up for our very first Run at Sentosa. It was early in the morning and he was standing near me waiting for the flag off. As I thanked him for his support, he told me that he was really happy to be collecting a runner tag on his short holiday in Singapore. He told me he has been collecting the runner  tag  of every run he has been involved in and he would be keeping ours too.  I joked that our cloth tag wound stink at the end of the race but he quipped that cloth is good as it is washable. Anyway, in line with other major runs, our tags have been printed on tear-proof paper since 2002.

As of now we have more than 7000 runners and together with the paraders and officials, there will be a 10 000 strong crowd. To date we have raised some $800K.

It is a very long weekend for all of us. Whether you are in camp with our runners, setting up on the site or along the route, manning the office and the MILK Run Hotline, distributing tags and goodies bags to the 7000 runners who have been streaming in since noon today, you have my deepest appreciation. Let's make this another Youth Day to remember!
Gerard

Running is the greatest metaphor for life, because you get out of it what you put into it.
-Oprah Winfrey

Dear Team
At least 10,053 persons were at the MILK Run and I want to thank our friends, sponsors and all other supporters for contributing to another successful Youth Day Celebration. We made some mistakes which we will have to put right but on the whole, feedback from participants was positive. Many felt that it was well organised and commented that volunteers did their jobs responsibly and enthusiastically.  Through the eyes of  participants and members of the public the event was a success and this is important. What is just as important is that it was also a success through the eyes of community workers.

Last Sunday, I met Fino for the first time. Fino is a  13 year old whose photograph we used for this year's publicity poster and I was quite surprised that he was rather small for his age. He was introduced to me as 'Mighty Mouse' and I guess the poster made him look larger than life.  Fino came in first in the VWO Boys Category and he told me he really wanted to win as a birthday present for his mother who would be 33 the following day. He elaborated that mom was always encouraging him and it was his way of showing his appreciation. Mom was really proud and it was a special moment for the family when we guided her on stage to have her picture taken with Fino and Ms Lee Phui Fong from adidas who was giving away the prizes for his category. This definitely was one success from a community worker's point of view.

Fino's family and friends were cheering loudly when he went on stage and again when he was having his picture taken with his mom. The MILK Run did not just bring Fino's family together but the families of other children who contributed in other ways. Our littlelest ones from the Healthy Start Child Development Centre did their parents proud when they went on stage to do a dance. For the audience it was 'good value' as not only did they see the kids dancing, they also saw their parents and teachers standing below the stage doing the same moves. The adults were reminding the children of their moves but through the eyes of community workers, it was a moment when parents visibly wanted their kids to succeed. 

The stage also provided us the opportunity for our community workers to develop a rapport with a group of youths whom we had lost touch with. This group no longer felt that they needed the daily care and guidance they were receiving and were usually hanging out late into the night and putting themselves into risky situations. By getting them to show their dance moves on stage, we re-established contact and put ourselves back into a position to offer them guidance.

A 16 year old who lacked confidence because he dropped out of school at 8 years old was a stabilising peer leader for the children at Kids United Home. Initially he was very reluctant to be with these children who were aiming to put together a circus routine for the stage in 4 weeks. However, he gained in confidence when we repeatedly told him that we needed his assistance to be the 'adult' in the group so that he could help us model 'appropriate' behaviour for the children. It was the first time he had ever gone on stage or had a leadership role. We are proud of him.

Success was also having a group of girls taking the initiative to contribute to the fund raising by setting up a Henna Tattoo stall at the bazaar and having the family members of our colleagues and volunteers chipping in for the big day. It was one for all and all for one and this was again evident when our runners waited at the finishing line after they had crossed it, to clap for their friends who came in after them. Some of  these friends they had only met 2 days ago at our Race Day preparation camp. 

I am very grateful for these little successes which are the result of  your hard work. These successes are also important reasons for celebrating Singapore's National Youth Day.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard
Share our similarities, celebrate our differences. -  M. Scott Peck

Dear Team
Currently, we have 6 interns from different University Programmes who have been with us for different lengths of time and they have certainly contributed to our work. During group activities, they play a big part in encouraging active participation from the young people we serve. Our young people usually determine the 'cool' factor of the activity by watching the enthusiasm of the interns who are closer in age to them.  I used to think that I could still be a pretty effective youth worker at 40 but now I can also understand that I need to harness the persuasive charm of younger colleagues : ).

During the school holidays, a mother came by on the verge of filing a Beyond Parental Control order for her 2 daughters aged 14 & 12. Her girls were out till late and did not return home at times. As an older colleague attended to her while an intern got to the girls and immediately she entered into their  world of boyfriends, night thrills and rites of passage. More importantly, a helping relationship was formed as a result and these girls have been attending school since the school term began.  She persuaded the girls to be more receptive to their parents' efforts and the weekend  before school resumed, the entire family left their one room rental flat for a cosy chalet at East Coast.

Not all our interns are closer in age to our young people but they bring much to our work too. They bring a sense of passion and can-do that remind those of us who have been at it for a while to ensure that our fire is still burning bright. Neighbourhood organisations tend to feel more comfortable dealing with a more mature person and these interns have ensured that study facilities in the community remain available for us to run study assistance programmes at least twice a week.

So thank you Cumar, Jinny, Marilene, Pearlning, Ranjana & Sila for choosing to learn with us at Beyond and contributing to the well-being of those we serve.

This week we continued to use circus arts to help families. It enabled a mother to spend an hour playing with 3 of her young children. This family was recovering from much hurt (AWB 0819) and the session enabled the children to experience the nurturing, protective and fun side of their mother. This mother asked Andrea if she had children and when Andrea replied "Yes, I have one and it is difficult", she emphasised that she had 4 and it was difficult.

The issues troubling this family have been dealt with somewhat and their situation is stable. However their need for support and strengthening will continue. While we will run a few more similar sessions for them, we need to link them with other support that will be sustainable in the longer run. Hence, it is good that the SafeKids team have arranged for a volunteer to visit their home weekly to help the children with their school work.

Finally, it is 2 weekends away to the Citi-MilkRun and we certainly could do with more runners. Online registration has been extended to 30 June for all categories so do get your friends online or have them call 1800-MILKRUN on Monday.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

When you are a mother, you are never really alone in your thoughts.... A mother has to think twice, once for herself and once for her child. - Sophia Loren