Dear Team
This being the last email for the year, I just wanted to say that this has been a year where we strengthened our understanding of the helping principles and restorative practices that guide our work. Our work in child protection, juvenile justice and residential guidance brought us into constant contact with other  professionals and people who had a stake in the lives of the young people we serve. Thus, this demanded that we were clear about our roles and our sense of who we are and what we stand for.

We stood for the young people and their families and sought their best interest. Often this meant diverting them away from state care or the criminal justice system. It also meant ensuring that they were treated with respect and valued simply for who they are and not what they can do or who they can be. Often this remains easier said than done.

Good social work is understanding and valuing what people are trying to tell us even if they are doing so in the most awkward way. A female resident kept telling us that she was not well but refused to visit the doctor. Looking at her complicated medical records, we were a little nervous. However, when we took the perspective that she was trying to tell us something, we realised that she was 'asking' to go home to her mother. Her mother was visiting later that day but her probation order did not allow her to go home.  She had wanted to go home as her mother and others in her household have recently told her that they would like to welcome her home and work through their difficulties.  We managed to get her home that evening on an extended home-leave arrangement.

A father who tells the Child Welfare Officer that they can send his 13 year old daughter into institutional care may be actually saying he is worn out by the assessment process which casts doubt on his ability as a parent. How do we reassure him that we would like to support him so that he can still have his daughter at home? It is quite easy to take him literally and conclude that he is an irresponsible parent who simply wants to dump his child.

A teenager who underwent an appendectomy had a wound that 'never' seems to heal. He had to return to the hospital every now and then and remains under observation. I guess he preferred the hospital to the half-way house that he was compelled too. How do we respond to his cry for a less 'restrictive 'order as he completes his statutory supervision in the community? The rules were put in place with the intention of nurturing these young people but when rules prevent alternative developmental opportunities, they may have lost their purpose. It takes much effort and skill for people like us to have an honest discussion on such matters with the rule-makers and it is probably not easier for a young person to do so.

I thank you for contributing to this meaningful year of service and hopefully we are a little stronger and wiser as we take on the New Year.

Enjoy your year-end!
Gerard

A miracle is often our willingness to see the common in an uncommon way.

Dear Team
Around this time last year, we began work at the Reformative Training Centre and this week it was heartening to meet 3 young men who are now looking to start afresh over burgers and fries. So far, 5 young men have been released and unfortunately 1 has been recalled for failing to report to his aftercare officer.The other young man could not get time off from work to meet us. There are another 13 participants awaiting release and we have already done a fair amount of work bridging them to their families.

The purpose of the meeting was to reassure these young people that we are here to support them and they should contact us if they experienced any difficulties whatsoever. Our experience with many of these young people is that they tend to get thrown off balance when they hear a rumour that the police will charge them for a misdemeanour they committed a long time ago. Somehow, they never feel really free from their past.

This year, one other chap decided to paint the town red 3 days after he was released when he heard from an old acquaintance that the police were looking for him. In his drunken stupor, he got into more trouble and is now serving time. We also had a 16 year old resident who was doing very well until he got similar news. Fortunately, with some support he managed to shake off his anxiety and got back on track.

Our work within the Reformative Training Centre and at Community Beyond has reinforced our belief that it is extremely important to keep young people away from the criminal justice system wherever possible. The time spent incarcerated always leaves a scar or a wound that takes a long time to heal. Sometimes I wonder if we are dealing with oversized boys who would very much need to learn to ride a bicycle, swim or play a game of football first before being loaded with the adult responsibility of holding onto a job.

After the burgers and fries, these boys did some abseiling outside our centre together with us. There were lots of fun, teasing and laughter. Without their crew cut and in their teenage garb, one would never have guessed that they have done time. It was really good seeing these boys being boys.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

My idea of Christmas, whether old-fashioned or modern, is very simple: loving others. Come to think of it, why do we have to wait for Christmas to do that?"
~ Bob Hope, American film actor and comedian.

Reality is only a memory ahead of its time.
Dear Team
Later this evening 91 young people whom we serve will be honoured at our Annual Graduation Beyond. These young people have successfully completed a phase of their studies and are moving on to the next level. We will be honouring our little ones as they move on to Primary School as well as those who passed their Primary and  Secondary School Leaving Examinations.

The event has been kindly sponsored by Spring Singapore and we make a big do of it because we believe that it is very important to affirm our young people for their efforts and successes. These milestones give them a sense of purpose and over time help shape who they are and what they believe about themselves. This is the 3rd year, we are having a combined Graduation Event and it is now something our 'graduating' kids expect and look forward to. In a sense the event has promoted the value of education among our young people and their families.

The young people coming this evening will be from the different places we work and while it will be special for all of them, I believe it will be awesome for the following young people.

A 14 year old girl who accompanied her younger siblings to the event 2 years ago and did not get the chance to go on stage (AWB-0522). She witnessed her peers moving on to secondary school and her younger siblings to primary school. We knew that her family had financial difficulties and despite our best efforts we could not improve her school attendance. I remember going back stage to encourage her and I am really glad to learn that both her younger brother and her will be going on stage tonight for passing their Primary School Examinations.

What's really heartening is also seeing her mother openly expressing the value of education. Over the last 2 years, I saw this girl and her mother bringing her younger siblings to our Healthy Start Child Development Centre and taking part in the Centre's activities. I believe that the positive messages about education at the HSCDC must have rubbed off on them.

At this juncture, I would like to compliment the HSCDC for inculcating the value of education among the families of the children they serve. This year the HSCDC Management Committee awarded prizes to 4 K2 children who met the following criteria:

a. Parents or care-givers who showed interest and initiative in the education of their child and are involved in the development of their ward.
b. Child who shows interests in his or her own development, as demonstrated in his or her daily performance at the HSCDC.
c. Child who is or has the potential to be a well rounded individual and a useful and caring member of society.

Besides the book prize, the children will receive an illustrated profile, containing comments from teachers and peers about them. And upon entering their new Primary School, Healthy Start MC Award recipients will be pleasantly surprised to learn that their Principal and teachers already know them by name. This is because we would have sent a citation to the school, describing the child’s success at the HSCDC. This citation will be signed by our esteemed education consultants, Dr. Loh Wan Inn and Dr. Christine Lee, who are also members of HSCDC’s Management Committee.

In the same vein, this evening MILK will also be awarding a prize to a child who did fantastically well despite  the breadwinners in her family being burdened by a serious illness.

Another child that will find the event awesome will be a 13 year old who was  on the verge of being institutionalised as her home environment was deemed unsafe. However, despite the family squabbles, the lack of finances and other troubles that never seem to cease, her taxi driver father drove her to school every morning. This was her second attempt at the Primary School Leaving Examinations and she made it.

Finally, another 13 year old girl who made it on her second attempt. She only met her biological father a couple of weeks ago and this is her first proud family  moment. She went shopping for appropriate clothes last night and can't stop gushing how special this evening will be for her.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

In life's graduate school, nobody gets straight A's. Except for trying.

Dear Team
Our colleagues from the Children and Youth Services went on an outreach exercise to publicise our Babes helpline. They targeted youth haunts at Orchard, Bugis and Ang Mo Kio. To help them,  they brought along the teens from our various programmes and these young people showed us all how it should be done.

Our 15 year olds confidently walked into the women's clinics, introduced themselves as being from Beyond Social Services, explained Babes as a pregnancy helpline for teens and got these clinics to pass on our postcards publicising the 811 3535 number to their teen patients. They also walked into games arcades, karaoke joints and pool parlours and impressed us by striking conversations with the young people there. At a fast food place, after they had their French fries and drink, they worked the room speaking to their peers and handing them a postcard. From the  cheerful  banter exchanged, it was clear our message got through. Our youths did an effective job and made the work look so easy but I can assure you that none of us could have done it their way or better.

All of the young people who were helping us came our way because they got into trouble with the law. In a sense, they are 'trouble-makers' but these guys & gals took the trouble to help us out when we explained the importance of getting the Babes Helpline number out to other young people. All of these youths came to us reluctantly and only because they were mandated to be on our programmes so it was very heartening for us to see  them proudly identifying themselves with Beyond. Perhaps, their  enthusiasm was fuelled by Babes being a cause they resonated with or perhaps, they were proudly outperforming their youth workers or perhaps they enjoyed the responsibility. It was probably a combination these and other factors but the wonderful thing was that these teens were making a difference. Our job is to help each of them take away something positive from their contribution.

Funny, I have just put down the phone with a TV journalist who asked the ever rhetorical question whether youths today are more apathetic than before about contributing to society so I simply related this story to her and told her to make her own conclusions. Everyone we serve,  has the ability to contribute and  if we want people to do so, we start by believing they can, appreciating their strengths and finding the opportunities for these strengths to be applied.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

In every person who comes near you look for what is good and strong; honour that; try to imitate it, and your faults will drop off like dead leaves when their time comes. ~ John Ruskin

Dear Team
Thursday, to some Hindus is an auspicious day because it is a day dedicated to their guru or guide. For many, this would be Lord Ganesha who is portrayed as an elephant. Hindus pray to him when they have a daunting task ahead of them. The elephant is seen to be powerful enough to clear all obstacles paving the way for success.

At 9.45 am yesterday morning the residents and the staff waved farewell to a little Indian girl who has been with Kids United Home for a year. This 6 year old has been in foster care since she was 2 years old and she came to us because her foster mother decided that it was too difficult to manage her 'attention-seeking' behaviours. We  were determined that Kids United Home will be her last stop before she returns to her family as any more fostering or residential arrangements would victimise her family and her further.

The day and timing were chosen by her mother and step-father as they believed that an auspicious start would go some way in helping them get it right. Over the year, these parents have been visiting their child at the home regularly and this effort was recognised by the Child Protection Department who sanctioned the discharge. Thank you and great job Sandra for arranging a lovely send-off with cake, cards, hugs and all. Photos taken will go into a scrap book of this girl's stay with us and presented to the family during a follow-up visit.

At around the same time at the Community Court, 3 Hindu teenagers were granted a 21 month probation order for vandalism. These 3 chaps accompanied an adult acquaintance to dismantle lightning conductor rods at HDB void decks and this man has been sentenced to jail with caning. In Singapore, vandalism is considered a serious offence and those found guilty are punished with a jail term and mandatory caning. All these teenagers were liable for caning for this charge. So they are really fortunate that they will be able to continue with their education, employment and eventually their national service. Thank you Pan Lee for believing in our young people and helping them put things right so that they may be given a chance to stay clear of incarceration. We are also most grateful to you for representing 3 other cases of young people who were in trouble with the law over the last week.

Finally, yesterday our Patrons Mrs Mah and Mrs Bala hosted a lunch for the Principals and the Heads of Pupil Welfare from the schools where we receive funding for our Juvenile Justice Programme. This was a gesture of appreciation for the cooperation accorded to our colleagues based in their schools and for strengthening our partnership. Thank you Mrs Mah and Mrs Bala for being our 'guides' who cleared the way for another year of service in these schools.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

“Let no man in the world live in delusion. Without a Guru none can cross over to the other shore.”
Guru Nanak (Indian Spiritual leader, 1469-1539)

Dear Team
After more than 2 years of operating the Safe Kids Programme it is clear that the community response to Child Protection Work is not so much about child safety but really more about Family Preservation. It is our helping principle that residential care must always be a short-term arrangement and it is in the best interest of children to remain with their families.

Sani is a Malay Muslim boy in our Kids United Home whose family has had more than their fair share of challenges. He came to us because the Child Protection Department felt that his mother was unfit to care for him. She was assessed to have mood swings and unable to provide a nurturing environment for Sani.

Sani is due for release from our home soon and so his mother arranged for him to be circumcised according to Islamic rites last Monday. We thought that it was good initiative on her part and a very symbolic gesture that paves the way for Sani to return to his family. For the family, it was definitely an important rite of passage with tremendous cultural and religious value. Hence, we were very pleased for Sani when his mother said that she would care for him at the family home after his circumcision.

However, things did not turn out as hoped. Mother was informed that Sani could not return home because she is still deemed to be an unfavourable influence on him. Her spontaneous outburst with threats of suicide only reinforced the assessment. Mother was really down and contacted us continuously as we tried our level best to find a solution by speaking to various officers in the department over the weekend but the solution was within the family.

Because this was a significant rite of passage, Sani's father who was reportedly 'absent' has been very much at home lately. With much courage, he informed Child Protection that if mother was deemed incapable of looking after Sani, father could do the job. Father then signed a letter of undertaking to look after Sani. Since Monday evening, Sani has been cared for by his family.

Well done Leela, Bien and Michelle for standing up for Sani and his family. Thanks also for attending to his mother and helping her manage her frustrations appropriately. As I was being kept informed of the situation; at certain points, it did seem like Sani would have to transferred to another Children's Home as we did not believe that we could or should be caring for him after his circumcision.

Yesterday, when we visited Sani, he told us that he really wished he could continue living with his family and not return to the Kids United Home. We assured him that we wished him the same.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

Going Home by John Heider
When I am out and about in the world, I often choose to compromise my truth. Most people I meet are not interested in what matters to me. Some would take offence if I told them what I really feel or believe.

When I go home, I recover my self. I allow time for the bruised or torn places in my soul to heal. No single person, no therapist, not even a group of trusted friends can be expected to provide day-in and day-out nourishment for my self.

My home is my harbour.

Dear Team
Our operating budget for FY 08 will be $6.7 million of which 43% will be from government subvention meaning we will have to raise $3.8 million. As at 31 October this year, we have served more than 6000 young people and close to 4000 of their care-givers. Our work outputs suggest that we have a community presence but more than that we need to be absolutely convinced why we are doing what we are doing.  

A lot of our work does not receive government funding because the work has yet to be regarded as 'necessary'. Hence, all the more we need to be very clear about what we do and the impact our programmes have if we want them to be eventually accepted as necessary protective factors in our community.We also need to constantly look at ways our work can continue to be effective utilising resources that do not increase the budget.  I would like to think that we carry out these efforts in the spirit of improving our professional standards and because we have a strong sense of ownership for our cause.

This week the children at the Healthy Start Child Development Centre began a 'fund-raising' project to help defray the cost of the educational materials they utilise. I think it is fantastic that our littlest ones are taking responsibility to help themselves and the 'school' they love. No worries, it is not child labour. What's happening is that the whole exercise is built around the educational themes that the various classes have for this term. The Nursery Classes are learning about Cookies, the Kindergarten 1s about materials and the Kindergarten 2s about communication and transactions.

The Teachers have linked all the 3 different sub-themes together and helped the children organise a cookie sale. In the process our children learn  a whole range of different skills, knowledge and basically get a hands-on understanding of 'Our World" which is the over-arching theme for this term. Besides baking, the children have been collecting recycled milk boxes, drink bottles and containers for repacking, drawing posters to advertise and taking photos of samples. The children even decided that it will be $5 for 100g and $14 for 500g for all designs. They have Gingerbread Men, Numbers & Chocolate Chip and if you like some please email Pei Kwang spk@beyond.org.sg to place your orders. I would think that every order our children receive will not only teach them a little bit more about our world but will also shape what they believe about it.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

In order for a house to be a house it must have a window and a door.
A door so we can come into ourself.
And a window so we can see beyond ourself. -Noah ben Shea

Dear Team
At exactly 3.30am Monday morning when Jim was fast asleep, his step-father went to his room and carried him to the living room placing him on the couch. The 58 hours were up and Jim's step-father wanted to honour the contract he had with his son as best as he could. In a daze, Jim managed half a smile as his step-father 'tucked' him in on the couch.

Later that day, Jim's step-father told us that he did so because it was fair play. He also wanted to convey to Jim that his parents were not trying to punish him excessively but simply wanted him to learn that there are consequences to his misbehaviour. We also learnt that during Jim's grounding, he was also given a share of the family's 'special' weekend meal simply because he was 'their son'. The step-father was very mindful that the grounding was an opportunity to reconnect and start afresh as a family. We were touched to see tough love being peppered with much care and concern. In other words, Toughlove is Love.

We had the family circle on Monday evening as that was when everyone was home. Jim understood the delay and like everyone else, participated respectfully. The family listened up as his 7 year old brother offered the view that Jim was always running away because Jim felt that 'mother loves me more'. Father reassured that every child was important to the family and he looked forward to them being a happy family.

Well, for now Jim is cooperating but we may have to continue helping family members manage the expectations they have of each other. The various expectations they have of each other contribute to their conflict and this has to be transformed. However, this family has already transformed in some sense - they have begun to believe again in their ability to be the warm and nurturing environment they were meant to be.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

There are no dysfunctional families-every family is functioning in their own way.
-Anthony Yeo, Father of Counselling in Singapore on his 35th Anniversary Celebrations on 6 November 2007.

Dear Team
At 5.30 pm today, Jim's parents called Shedah to inform that they will be starting his 58 hour grounding. Jim, 11 years old was found by the police at 1am early this morning and at 10.30 am, his parents brought him home from the police station. Jim ran away from home a few days ago and has been missing for exactly 58 hours.

Tit for tat? Definitely not but parents cannot parent when their child is missing and physically not with them. The grounding is just the first step for Jim's parents to re-establish control. We have discussed this is in great length with the parents and they fully understand that this is their decision. We have walked them through possible risky behaviours that Jim may display in response to the grounding and they have still decided to go forth with it. However, they know that we will be on call these 58 hours, they can contact us anytime and in no way must the exercise be abusive or unsafe.

At the end of the 58 hours, we will be at their home facilitating a Talking Circle for Jim and his parents to reconnect with each other. Our goal is to repair relationships and not simply to punish. Grounding Jim to his room is necessary as he is currently in a very defiant mood and respectful conversation is not yet possible. However, at this point the parents are very much in-charge and we remain in the background as support people. We were intentionally not at their home when the grounding began so that Jim realises that his parents are really now taking charge.

We got to know Jim about 3 weeks ago. He has been going to different police stations to allege that his parents have been abusing him. The police always contacted his parents and after checking it out for themselves, sent him home. At the 6th station he visited, he started 'groaning' in pain and the police had to send him to the hospital. The doctors could not find anything wrong with him and decided to send him home but before the parents arrived at the hospital, they found some bruise marks on him and protocol dictated that Jim remained in the hospital. After a week, Jim still could not go home and in desperation, the parents contacted us.

We learned that Jim has been in 3 different children's homes since he was 8 years old. Whenever his parents approached the homes to take him home, they were advised that Jim has yet to be rehabilitated but after 3 years, none of these homes succeeded in turning Jim around. This is a sad reflection of the welfare system of which we are very much a part off. I am sure we have been just as guilty as anyone else in disempowering families and parents so let's remain vigilant and humble as we go about our work.

After 2 weeks, the hospital concluded that Jim was not abused by his parents and they released him. We have been working closely with the parents since and managed to convince them that what Jim needed most was a loving and caring family and not to be caught up in a prolonged power struggle. The parents were on the brink of filing a Beyond Parental Control Court Order but have now regained their composure and are doing their best to re-establish ties with their son. Obviously Jim is not happy with his situation and we will continue supporting the family to address the epicentre of their conflict and hopefully, in time all will realise that "Home is not where you live, but where they understand you” - Christian Morganstern

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

Dear Team
After 2 weeks of intensive work beginning 2 days before Hari Raya, Baby G left the hospital on Wednesday and reunited with her parents at home. Baby G came to our attention when a Child Protection Officer contacted us because her father refused to allow Child Protection to send her into foster care. The family had previously been associated with child neglect and Child Protection felt that the baby's safety would be compromised should she go home.

On the eve of Hari Raya, we presented Child Protection with a care and supervision plan that the family had come up with but they needed more assurance. Understandably, the parents flew into a rage as it was really important and significant for them to have their new born home with them during Hari Raya. The father could not fully comprehend what was going on and out of desperation, he called in the police. It was high drama at the hospital and I remember sitting where I am now trying to write the Another Week Beyond and speaking with our colleagues at the hospital over the phone.

Baby G spent Hari Raya at the hospital and her parents were furious with us as they were under the impression that we advised Child Protection to keep her there. We could not understand their fury as we were really working hard on their behalf. Later we realised that as the Child Protection Officer left the meeting room to consult her supervisor on the phone, one of us followed her out as she requested. Upon returning to the room, she announced that the baby could not go home.  Our action of leaving the room was construed by the parents as a 'betrayal'.

We certainly had a very hard time re-establishing trust after that. They were nice enough when we visited them on Hari Raya but following that, they blew hot and cold with us. We struggled to convince them if they could attend to the safety concerns of Child Protection, there was a good chance Baby G could return home. Eventually, with the assistance of the police officers whom the father trusted, we managed to convey our message in bits and pieces.

It pained us to see the gamut of emotions that these parents were experiencing. We could see how their feelings of helplessness, anxiety or insecurity could have come across as unreasonable anger that further undermines their ability as parents in the eyes of others. Despite their angry outbursts whenever we visited, the fact was these parents were actually really trying as we noticed that they acted on our suggestions for making their home environment more conducive for a baby.

We now have responsibility for ensuring that Baby G's care and supervision plan is followed through. The work is even more important now as an infant's safety can be compromised if we fail in our duty. The work we did over the past 2 weeks may have felt like a fight but it was really just 2 arms of our Child Protection System holding up Baby G. It is only safer to lift a baby with both arms; the Child Protection Department is one arm while SafeKids our community response programme is the other. When Child Protection and us play our roles well, vulnerable children can be kept safe. Well done, Ailine, LJ & Pascale for helping Baby G reunite with her parents. It was difficult work but reading your sharing which I have copied below, it must have been worth it.

Update of yesterday's visit.. =)

Mother and father were very excited to see the baby! We were supposed to meet them @ 5.30pm; MSW said that they were 1 hour early, so I went to the ward to see them. When I saw mother, she was very happy, almost hugged me haha like a child expecting a gift from mommy! Quite refreshing to see her in a very good mood... Father and auntie seemed quiet, I just talked to them about fishes (aiyoh, I dun know anything about fish).
I would like to end with a passage from Confucius that a good friend shared with me. It seemed quite appropriate for reflecting about this whole episode. It is definitely not meant as a criticism of Child Protection but for us to reflect a little about how our world works.

A Government may be functioning well or badly
What matters however,
is preventing the need for Government involvement in the life of the people.

A Government must ensure 3 things for its people: food, safety and trust.
If it cannot produce all three; the first to go is safety, the second is food.
However the third can never be given up.
When people feel no more trust in their Government,
It is not a Government any more.

Child Protection Departments around the world concentrate on safety by protecting children from their own parents. In a sense, they play a policing role. As members of the community, we need to convince them that with the help of government resources, the community can offer the child protection. As seen in this episode, a policeman who acts as a resource actually earns trust.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

Dear Team
Last night at the Milk Dinner, I had the privilege of being chaperone for Nana, 10 years old and Jufri, 5 old years as they made their way to the Prime Minister with a token of appreciation which was the joint effort of our children from our various centres.

Over the last 2 months, the children at Healthy Start, LIFE, Kids United and some of the youths all chipped in to recycle the waste paper from our offices into note books. Recycling the paper, required shredding, blending, sieving, pressing, sponging, hanging, drying, cutting, piling, drawing & binding. With so many processes, the children had their hands full and at Block 26, there were laundry lines with recycled paper held up by clothes pegs all over the place.

The children were working hard to produce 65 books for those that took up a table and a 'special' one for the Prime Minister. The note books had Journey of Hope which was the theme of the dinner on their front cover and on the back cover, a profile of one of our children. The pages inside were blank except for the Prime Minister's copy. His copy contained messages from our children collected over the last 2 months.

Here are a few of their messages which would also be food for thought for us:

1. "I miss my family. I hope I can get out of KU Home soon!"
2. "Please give discount of $40 for MP3 players and hand phones."
3. "Can you give me some free textbooks?"
4. "I love Singapore."
5. "I like to study."
6. "I wish that Singapore has no army and police."

Were the messages childish and frivolous?  I would like to see them as voices of identity that are often too easily ignored or brushed aside. When we focus on the content of the message, there is little to dwell on but as those who want to be helpful, let us listen to the context, the meanings our children are trying to articulate and to truly empathise with who they are. Only when we really appreciate who they are, can we be really supportive.

As I was making my way towards the Prime Minister, Jufri broke free from me and ran off in another direction. Thankfully, BeeLeng was nearby, caught him and reunited us. All went well after that. We actually had a couple of dry runs a couple of hours earlier and we rehearsed exactly how to hand over the token with a handshake and a smile for good effect but then  the butterflies in his tummy took flight in a different direction. This is simply who Jufri is and it is definitely no fault of his. Our challenge was to support him so that he goes home feeling positive about himself.

At the rehearsal, I had an inkling that Jufri was overwhelmed by the occasion but replacing would not have done wonders for him so I had his teacher and his peers speak to him and I reassured him as much as I could. Perhaps, someone should have been reassuring me instead : ) but I was really wanting it to work for him as I remember Jufri proudly telling his classmates that I would be his chaperone when I picked him up at the Healthy Start CDC.

When Children Pray
Children only pray when in doubt
And their voices portray light fears
All a child wants to see is the new day break
And when that thought is threatened children kneel and pray
Victoria Martinez

Dear Team
Yesterday, we took another step in strengthening our working relationship with the T-Net Clubs. The T-Net Clubs are run by the People's Association and they were formerly the Police Boys Clubs which was a community policing initiative. These days the T-Net Clubs are for girls as well and they see themselves as "an island-wide teens network where members get to participate in creative learning programmes, community services and sports activities."
There are 8 T-Net Clubs which are in neighbourhoods such as Ang Mo Kio, Bukit Merah, MacPherson & Taman Jurong. These are neighbourhoods populated with young people who may benefit from our programmes and that's why it would be really advantageous for our work if we work together with the T-Net Clubs.

We met all the T-Net Club officers during their routine meeting at the People's Association Headquarters and besides linking them with Chris and her Youth United Team, we shared about what we believed were the Elements of a Helping Relationship. The officers responded positively to the sharing and so did their supervisor who was conducting the meeting. We will continue to feature in their routine meetings at least once a month and our Youth United Team will be visiting the various clubs and meeting a few young people whom they feel may benefit from our assistance.

Perhaps the most important thing that arose from the meeting was knowing that there are others out there who are just as concerned about the young people we serve and in their own way, doing whatever they can to improve the situation. The T-Net Officers are not social service providers but we can both learn from each other if we continue to converse and our partnership will increase the possibility of reaching more young people in need.

Finally, Selamat Hari Raya Adil Fitri to our Muslim friends.

Gerard

Authentic conversation is our human way of thinking together - Juanita Brown, co-originator of the World Cafe

Dear Team
It has been Children's Day Week and our kids at the Healthy Start Child Development Centre have been celebrating with children from other Centres. Last week they were at the Creative O Pre-schoolers' Bay and today they were with the Carpe Diem Group at Punggol. The Carpe Diem Group sponsors the educational expenses of some of our children at our Healthy Start CDC and they have also offered to share their resources with us on an ongoing basis.

Their facility at Punggol has a flying fox, swimming pool and lots of open space near the sea which our kids really appreciated. It was also very thoughtful of them to celebrate the birthday of an infant who is sponsored by them. Interaction with their peers from the mainstream helps our children hone their social skills. Events like this are also a sampling of what primary school-life out of the classroom could be like.

It was a 'big' event for the organisers and we did our part by contributing manpower to help out. Much thanks to those from Family Services for helping out.

The Streetwise Programme is into its 3rd week now and as we were planning for the intake, we decided to be consciously more intentional about our Restorative Practices. From Day One we emphasized to the participants that we are here to help them and we are not here to punish them.

This week, as the participants were discussing a 'problematic' situation, there was a moment of awareness about the meaning of personal responsibility. As the group of them discussed consequences for ‘misbehaviour’, some spontaneously suggested punishment. 'Punish me lah!' is really more an expression of resignation rather than an invitation.

The facilitator reminded them of our position and pointed out that the punishment approach was ironical because when they misbehave or are irresponsible, the staff have to get to work by dishing out the punishment. Won't it be more appropriate for the person who made the mistake to assume the responsibility of putting things right? Participants did ponder the comment seriously. These youths are smart people and it definitely was not a 'duh' moment for them 

Like always, not all participants on the Streetwise Programme are on the ball and Anne-Marie and Jerry are having lots of calls from concerned parents and caregivers. I am really appreciative that both of them are trying their best repairing the relationships that matter. Below is the Ladder of Restorative Discipline as explained to the participants and it may give you a better idea of the approach we take at the Streetwise and all our other children and youth programmes.

We are here to help you. We are not here to punish you.
This is how we go about it:

1. Repairing Relationships that Matter
When we make a mistake, we are not the only ones affected. Our family, friends and others who care about us will be concerned and disappointed. So the first thing that we will help you with is to heal these relationships so that the people who care for you can continue to do so.

2. Problem Solving
Together, we need to find ways to get rid of the reasons that get you into trouble. We will work with the people who care for you and want to support you.

3. Learning From Consequences
Sometimes we learn by experiencing the consequences of our actions. Together, you and us will decide on some consequences for actions or attitudes that are not helpful.

4. Punishment
When all else fails we may have to punish to settle the matter and to begin again. Punishment does not always help us learn but may be necessary if you do not respond to 'tender loving care'.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

If people are good only because they fear punishment, and hope for reward then we are a sorry lot indeed.
- Albert Einstein

Dear Team
As we have been saying for a while now, participation is a key principle in social work. How do we actually persuade those we serve to participate fully in transforming their difficult situations? An effective social worker is not a rescuer but a support person who helps people to help themselves as much as they can. For those of us on the ground this is obvious and clear.

I just wanted to say that participation is also a very important principle even when we are relating to various statutory agencies. Recently, we were asked by the Child Protection Department if we could offer intensive family preservation programmes to facilitate the reintegration of children under State supervision back to their families. We indicated our interest but told them that we needed to study the situation from the eyes of a voluntary welfare organisation who would like to make a strategic difference from a long-term point of view.

We are grateful that the Department invited a VWO like us to play a part in addressing the welfare of children under State care. This is an acknowledgement that social problems need the cooperation and participation of both voluntary and statutory agencies. We have studied the situation and felt that the most strategic approach would be to narrow the doors into State Care and widening the exits into the community.

To do this there has to be 1. Early Intervention targeted at at-risk children and families that may be identified through helplines or other referral sources; 2. Diversion Work where crisis are stabilised, harm minimised and cooperation with the State to keep the kids away from State care; 3. Intervention where intensive family preservation work helps reintegrate the children with their families and I would argue, most importantly; 4. Participation or Joint Action between voluntary and statutory agencies on various levels that address child abuse.

I feel that so much more can be achieved if there is Joint Action or Participation as I have just described. There was an observation about such relationships between Statutory and Voluntary agencies in another country and here are the usual prejudices observed from both sides:

From the Statutory Side:
1.      They are choosy. They pick primarily the easy cases
2.      They want funds to grow. Therefore they come up with all sorts of new programmes.   Regardless whether there is really a need for them. But of course one can find a need for         everything.
3.      They do not stick to the contracts. Once they are working on a case they do what they think is the     right thing without consulting us.
4.      They do not provide enough information about developments.
5.      They do not provide sufficient data for good management decisions.
6.      The information they provide always reflects their performance in a positive light. If there was no           success with a case the performance of the NGO is never questioned.
7.      They have inexperienced staff.
8.      They are too specialized. When there are new developments in a case, they refer out. When we          need something out of the square they cannot deliver.
9.      They do not know enough about the legal constraints and requirements.
10.    They play mainly the role of the good guy and leave us the shit work. They sometimes even form unhelpful coalitions with clients behind our back.

From the Voluntary Side:
1.      They know little about the real life of their clients. They sit in their offices and wait for clients.
2.      They are paper tigers. All what they do is to write and file.
3.      They are rigid in applying rules and regulations. They follow a one size fits all approach.
4.      They work without heart. They are just bureaucrats.
5.      They make life difficult because they are not flexible and open to new things. The system is rigid and stable.
6.      Emphasis is on structure and status quo. They are working in a hierarchy and just obeying their boss.
7.      They have an easy life and standard working hours.
8.      They think people change because they set up a support plan or give an order but in reality there is a lot forward and backward movement and changes in a plan. If we do that, they think we violate the contract.
9.      They always want to save money. They do not know enough about the real needs out there.
10.     Their system is not transparent. They are not allowing us to have a say.
11.     They can not stand critique.
12.     They have the power.

Quite a list right? Imagine how much energy could be better utilised if there was joint action and participation.  So now that we have clarified our ideas about how we see Child Protection it is still not for us to simply propose how things could be improved. The clarity of thought is simply for ourselves as we proceed in the spirit of participation to continue a dialogue where the views and objectives of the Child Protection Department are seriously considered in shaping services. Together, we will work towards enhancing the child protection system.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

Progress and innovation are made by people who think without lines. - John Maxwell

Dear Team
The Family Services Team conducted a door-knocking exercise with a difference. Every now & then, we outreach to various housing estates to do a needs assessment of the community. The door-knocking exercises we have done in the past always looked out for the deficiencies within the homes we visited. Once needs were identified, we would offer the appropriate services.

I guess deficiency identification is the 'usual' way a needs assessment is done but if you think about it carefully, how are we actually helping people to help themselves? Isn't getting people to help themselves a key tenet of our work? We are portraying ourselves as kind souls out there making a difference. We leave such an exercise feeling like we have just done the most helpful thing and may even wonder if we could have done more. Perhaps, it would have been a decent exercise in empathy but still such an approach would lack a longer term strategic view for the transformation of their life situations.

On Wednesday the Family Services Team led by Tue Teck and Vera bravely embarked on conducting a capacity finding exercise. They led a team of staff and volunteers to a one-room rental block in our neighbourhood looking for the skills and abilities residents had. The survey form looked for skills such as cooking, household maintenance, office work as well as aspirations such as running a business and serving in the community. While initially apprehensive, those that took part in the exercise came back very energised and positive about the experience.

The one-room rental block is the most basic public housing available. Each floor has a long narrow corridor with doors facing each other and the flat is just a small living space with a toilet/shower and cooking area.  Usually, 2 elderly persons with no family share one flat. We decided to visit this block because we were told by our partners such as child care centres, residents' committees and our existing service users that several young families with children have moved into the block.

Here is one example how our approach made the difference of providing hope and creating possibilities for both the community worker and the family interviewed. Farizah was the community worker and after the initial pleasantries, she asked the lady if she could cook. Instantaneously, the lady replied that she could and proudly exclaimed that she was very good at it too. This led to further information that she used to cook for private gatherings and enjoyed doing it very much. She would be very happy to get involved in any 'cooking project' that came her way. The energy was positive and this lady then introduced her 20 year daughter who had excellent office skills like data entry and record keeping.  Eventually Farizah also found out that this 20 year old had 2 young children aged 4 & 2 years old and she was optimistic about their future. The older one was already enrolled in the kindergarten below the flat and she had already made plans for the early childhood education of the younger one. When the visit ended, we found ourselves another friend and resource in the neighbourhood.

If we had taken the deficiency approach, we would have met a 20 year old single mom with 2 needy young children living with a mother and her mother's boyfriend in very cramped living conditions. Am I suggesting we put on rose tinted glasses? Of course not, these realities do not disappear just because we take a capacity finding approach but if we are to help people help themselves, we need to begin seeing them as citizens with capacities and gifts and not clients with deficiency and needs.

Every single person has capacities, abilities and gifts. Living a good life depends on whether those capacities can be used, abilities expressed and gifts given. - John Kretzmann & John McKnight (Advocates for Asset-Based Community Development)

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

Dear Team,
This week we had the wonderful privilege of having Allan MacRae, National Operations Manager, Ministry of Social Development, Children, Youth and Family Division,  New Zealand to further enhance our Family Group Conferencing skills. Allan is also the co-author of the Little Book of Family Group Conferencing - New Zealand Style and is a much sought after consultant for restorative directions in justice, community & family. Back in 2004, it was he who got us started with adopting Family Group Conferencing (FGC) as one of our key tools for the management of youth offending as well as for formulating care & protection plans for children.

Allan honed the practice skills of our FGC Coordinators and drove home the point that we are here to help families develop plans for their young people and their families to succeed. Funny how there is always a tendency for plans to set people up for failure or for plans to catch wrong doing. Plans have to be monitored but plans are not only made for monitoring purposes.  Plans are to be monitored towards success, rather than to catch people out.  Plans are made for the longer term well being of the young people and it is our primary interest and that of the family concerned that these plans are successful.

Allan also drove home the importance of getting all the required support, resources and information to the conference, that empowers and enables the family to take charge and make good decisions and sound plans. Sometimes along the way, we will find that situations have stabilised and we do not necessarily have to carry out an FGC.

Today, we had a visit from the Counselling Intervention Unit of MCYS with whom we work closely for coordinating some child protection FGCs. FGCs are now an important intervention at MCYS for child protection and we learned that they are also looking at implementing it as part of the exit process for the youths in their institutions. This is a fantastic development and we are glad more people are adopting a process that we deeply believe in. It is always good news when more people adopt restorative methods as it means more young people and their families are regarded and entrusted as responsible members of our community.

If you are not an FGC Coordinator, what I have written so far probably sounds too technical. Let me share something that happened this week to show why it is so important to believe in the abilities of families and to work towards their empowerment. A mother who is pregnant with her 5th child is worried sick because Child Protection Department is already getting ready to take her baby into care the moment she delivers. This mother is viewed as incapable because all her children are now under state supervision in one form or another and are not living with her.

Such actions are always pursued in the best interest of the child but while they may resolve an immediate issue, they do little for the well being of this family in the longer run. If this mother is deemed incapable, how is she ever to learn or experience the role of a mother if all her children are not with her? Eventually should her children return to her, what would be the quality of mother-child relationship?

While exploring the possibility of a FGC, we gathered the Child Protection Officer, the foster parents and the mother in the same room and ensured that everyone listened to what the mother had to say about her situation. She spoke about her pain of not having her children with her and her anger and her inability to understand why all this was happening to her or rather why she could never seem to meet the expectations of the system despite putting in her best effort.

We need to eventually ensure that there is  necessary support to help this mother succeed but at least for now, this mother's voice will enrich the decision making process regarding the care of her children.  For the decision makers,
The warmth of complexity shines on their face
The winds of good change blow gently on their backs
- John Paul Lederach, a pioneer in Conflict Transformation

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

When love listens, it listens to the heart, and with heart.

Dear Team
A teenager came by with his family or rather he was dragged down by his family to see me regarding his poor attendance at school. Before the meeting started proper, his mother commented that I had probably encountered at least a hundred other situations that sounded similar. She was right but this time, I decided that I was not going to play the role of a counsellor but that of a circle keeper.

A talking circle is a conversation among a group of people using a talking piece. People can only talk when they have possession of the talking piece. My role as the circle keeper was to ensure that this simple procedure was respected and adhered to. It was a position of responsibility rather than one of leadership. I participate in the talking circle on the same terms as everyone else and any influence that I could have would have to be from a position of a fellow participant.

A talking circle is an important tool taken from the range of restorative justice practices. It is an ancient technique brought forth from a time when people sat around a campfire, a table or on the floor at the village assembly area to find solutions for their difficulties. Many of you have been trained as circle keepers and you know exactly what I am talking about but I just wanted to share this story as a way of encouraging us to continue using this respectful way of communication and problem solving.

My choice of the talking piece was a Sponge Bob Square Pants soft toy. I knew nothing about Sponge Bob except that he is a cartoon character so I began by asking the teen if he could tell the circle a little about him. Boy, he almost could not stop talking and his family and I simply listened in amazement at all the nuggets of information including results of internet surveys that rated Sponge Bob as the most popular cartoon character second only to Mickey Mouse.

When the small talk passed, the first statement that the teen made was ”I find it extremely demeaning that I have to see the school counsellor! Every one is looking at me like I am an oddball or something." His request was to be taken out of counselling. I could see his family members wanting to jump in to have their go at his statement but without the talking piece they had to listen and digest what was being said.

As the talking piece was passed around, the circle listened to the teen's struggles at school, his disappointments, his loneliness and actually, his will to succeed despite it all. His family always thought that he had given up on school and it took them a while to register that this teen was telling them how determined he was in wanting to do well in school. This declaration may never have surfaced if we went about trying to figure out what’s wrong with this teen with a 'school refusal problem'.

The talking circle is not therapy where someone is the identified patient. It is simply an opportunity for honest interaction among people; talking and listening from the heart. When we left the room his mother came up to thank me as it has been a while since she has experienced any good in her son. For the first time in a long while she is hopeful that he will turn out right.  I told her what I saw was a good kid with a very supportive family.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

No one got to be a better teacher who wasn't working on being a better person. - Noah Ben Shea

Dear Team
This afternoon, the parents of the children at the Healthy Start Child Development Centre organised a Teachers' Day Celebration. Each of them contributed $10 to put together a lunch of local favourites which included ketupat, satay & bee hoon. They booked a barbeque pit near a playground in the neighbourhood and presented us a very big Teachers' Day Card which was designed to be hung on a wall in the Centre.

These parents did a fine job and this afternoon, we really experienced them as partners with useful skills who valued the partnership. The Healthy Start Programme targets children from disadvantaged families and as we reach out to them, there is a tendency to neglect the positive side of these people.  It is a little ironical because to qualify for Healthy Start assistance, one needs to be in pretty bad shape. The social service system responds to needs and as long as our beneficiaries are seen to be weak it is unlikely for them to move beyond social services. So do our systems and our perspectives keep people weak or do our perspectives offer hope and focus on a positive future rather than their problematic past or present situation? Let us never forget that people are more than a social worker's 'negative' description of them.

I would like to say Happy Teachers Day again loud and clear to all our teachers. You may be at LIFE, or you may be teaching swimming or you may be a volunteer trying to get a kid to learn to read. You are all special to the young people and their families who you reach out to. Last Saturday, about 20 of our kids put together a song and percussion performance in front of a 1000 strong audience. The occasion was Reaching Out In One Song, a fund raising event organised by the Franciscan Families at the Church of St Mary of the Angels. Our kids impressed and that's the result of the joint efforts of their music teacher and them. Thanks Sr Molly for making us a beneficiary of the event.

Finally, I want highlight that we have among us team-mates who have been beneficiaries of our programmes but are now on our team as teachers. You know who you are and I want you to know that you are as important as any member of our team. One of you actually told me that you were feeling a little odd at the Teachers' Day lunch because it was your first time being appreciated as a teacher. Well, get use to it : ) You are a good teacher and there should be many more Teachers' Days to come.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

Children have never been very good at listening to their elders but they have never failed to imitate them. - James Arthur Baldwin

We are more likely to promote accountability among young people by being encouraging and hopeful rather than by being punishing.- Chris Joy, Manager Youth Service, Beyond Social Services

Dear Team
We completed 6 weeks of training for the staff this week on the topic of developing helping relationships. One of us shared at the closing that he was always a little bit stressed on Friday mornings because he knew he was going to have to think about himself. That's the effect the training has been having on him but somehow he looked forward to the discomfort.

The above quotation came from Chris this morning and it fittingly sums up what we have been trying to impart over the past 6 weeks. The Management of Delinquency lies on a continuum where there are points of Punishment, Consequences, Problem Solving & Restoration or Putting Right Hurt Relationships. Each of these points can be appropriate but our training has been focusing on Restoration as that does not come naturally to us although we do yearn for it.

Each of us wants to be connected to each other in a good way and we have a good idea how that can be. However, we are more inclined to behave in a manner that isolates us from each other. This is even more so for the young people that we serve. Their history has impressed on them that it is a wild and unfair world where adults or authority cannot be trusted. Thus, we must form helping relationships where they can once again believe that adults, family and community can be trusted. Only then, will they also be willing to learn life-enhancing behaviours to replace defensive behaviours that have put them at odds with authority and society in general.

To do this well, we need to start with what we believe about these young people. Are they simply trouble makers or is there more to them? Last Monday, we celebrated the birthday of one of our residents, Just 2 days before, she had a tiff with a fellow resident and was also extremely rude to the staff to say the least : ).  Yet, we consciously wanted to believe that she was really a person worth our affirmation. So, I am so glad we went ahead to present her a cake during our house meeting despite the fact that she had behaved badly because it was obvious to everyone how much she valued and appreciated our gesture.

It was a healing moment and that led some of us to wonder if this girl's foul mood was because she could not help feeling that she did not have a family to remember her birthday. She was grinning widely throughout and unabashed expressed how happy she was. This girl also came up to me to apologise for denting a door and immediately agreed to repair the dent as I suggested.

Helping young people or resolving conflictual situations will cause us much pain and internal conflict unless we sincerely believe that conflict is normal in human relationships and conflict is a motor of change. Just don't use the motor to run away from it all : ).

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard 

Dear Team
We had a small little graduation event for our participants from our Streetwise and Guidance Programmes that hopefully will take them beyond social services from here on. It was a simple little affair organised by the youths but it was definitely an important milestone in their young lives. Thanks Mrs Mah for your presence. It was a wonderful gesture of encouragement for our young people and their families.

These young people did just about everything to get the event going. The evening was hosted by them and they contributed to the programme in different ways. One did a PowerPoint presentation, a few shared their reflections, and one played guitar. This boy (let’s call him Andy) who played the guitar once told his mother "If you are describing someone who is not naughty or bad, you are not talking about Andy." Well, he looked almost angelic on his high stool plucking away on a classical guitar.

I was particularly impressed with the big guy who was probably assigned to look after the guests. He frequently came by to check if we needed more drinks and to keep us informed of the programme flow.  One would not have imagined that a few months ago, he was someone frequently trying to pick a fight with just about everybody.

At the end of the evening, a girl stood up in front of the room apologising to her parents for getting into trouble. She was not exactly fluent when she was sharing about her experiences in the programme earlier but the apology to her parents was loud and clear. Later as we were clearing up, I told her that she did a very brave thing. She immediately reiterated that she was sincere and really wished to patch the strained relationship she had with her family members.

These events are important for the young people we serve and they are also important for us because they show us the potential and the good within them. Every time we start with a new batch of youths, there is a tendency to complain about the intake and their uncooperative behaviours. However, it is when the going gets tough that we are needed most.

The Streetwise & Guidance Programmes are the only 2 diversionary programmes for youths to stay out of the justice system. Years ago when we first began, we had the tendency to view these programmes as a 'minor' form of punishment. Hence, youths who did not quite fit into the shape of the programme were simply 'returned' to the police for their discretion. Today, we have a heightened awareness that by simply doing so, we are aversely affecting the future of these young people who have been entrusted to us. The challenge we pose to ourselves today is 'How do I help these young persons successfully complete the Programme?'

As we tackle this challenge, we have to keep the integrity of the Programme which is to steer the young person away from delinquent behaviours. We have a time frame of 6 months to give it our best shot but in reality, change takes as long as change takes. Whether it is maths or socially appropriate behaviour, people need time to learn. Some learn fast and some need a little more time. Some may even need different teaching methods, tuition or alternative schools. One chance may not be enough and some patience and understanding is necessary.

Perhaps, our community is getting to be a little less unforgiving and a little more restorative. At the graduation event, a police officer contributed to the programme by singing 3 songs dedicated to the youths and their families. He told us that he had to seek clearance from his superiors for doing so as he may be seen to be compromising the authority of the police force. However, he felt that it was just his little way of showing the youths that the police appreciated their efforts to change and was really glad he was given permission to do so.

As Singapore continually remakes herself, perhaps our disadvantaged and troubled youths are on the brink of a more healing, nurturing and restorative Singapore which is waiting to be born.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

The one unchangeable certainty is that nothing is unchangeable or certain. - John F. Kennedy

Dear Team
We had sad news that a 16 year old boy with lower intellectual abilities whom we had previously assisted, was remanded at the Singapore Boys Home for a month because his care arrangements broke down. This boy came to our attention a couple of years ago because at least 2 concerned members of the public read a newspaper article about him loitering at a hawker centre. As the hawker centre was in our vicinity, the members of the public contacted us to assist him.

We coordinated a Family Group Conference, our very first actually and put in place a care-plan that served him well until 6 months ago. He attended school regularly and enjoyed it tremendously and did not wander off after school. On weekends, he was supervised by his mother and on weekdays, he was with his mother's brother who resided nearer his school. There was also a volunteer befriender who took him out on weekends.

6 months ago, we were told by an MCYS officer that he had run away from home and his mother had told the courts that he was Beyond Parental Control.  He was remanded in the Singapore Boy's Home and the court ordered that he continue to be supervised in the community. Unfortunately, the 'running away' continued and this week he was remanded at the Singapore Boys Home again. His MCYS officer told us that he looked shaken and worried as he was taken away. We were told he was badly bullied the last time he was placed in remand. The irony though is that he was being placed in the Singapore Boys' Home for his protection because the streets were deemed too dangerous for someone with lesser intellectual ability.

There will always be service gaps and but this boy does not belong to the Singapore Boys Home, a facility for young people who have been on the wrong side of the law. The adults in his life were unable to supervise or engage him and unfortunately they sought the justice system for assistance. As we have often said, the justice system is not built for welfare and in this case, the system has utilised their resources to do their best for the boy. The system meant well but the assistance offered is arguably not in the best interest of the young person.

I am highlighting this case to remind ourselves that helping is not simply about utilising the available resources. When we help without understanding, we can end up doing more harm than good. It is a privilege to serve but it is also a responsibility that we cannot take lightly. In this case, the boy was not running away but wandering off to entertain himself and it is more of a care issue rather than one of protection or delinquency. It was not because he was 'beyond control' but because the adults in his life could not attend to his needs. Intervention should be addressing his care-givers ability to care rather than simply concluding the matter quickly by sending him to an institution.

The work is frustrating when situations appear stuck and we can be highly tempted to resolve issues quickly. I would say pause, take a hard look at our helping principles, reflect on them, and speak with a team-mate or supervisor. We also need to have a fair understanding of the government systems to determine the impact or implications of our advice. Never say there is no choice because there will usually be alternatives if we are clear what we are trying to achieve and are prepared to see the job through.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

Hope is not arrived by a good argument nor need be lost by one - Anonymous

Dear Team
Yesterday, we began the third phase of our Restorative Care Programme in the Reformative Training Centre. This phase is called Community Bridging and we arranged for 3 participants to meet with their families. It was not the usual meeting behind a glass panel but one where these 3 youths took part in a series of adventure learning activities together with their family members.

7 family members, comprising parents, uncles and a sibling were present and we are really grateful that the Prison Authorities allowed them in. Some of these family members have broken the law before and normally that would have barred them from entering a rehabilitation facility. By allowing them in, the Prison Authorities demonstrated that they valued family reintegration as an important part of the rehabilitation process.  Well done Myrle and Fawzi for making this happen.

After experiencing the harsh realities of incarceration, neither the participants nor their family members could believe that they were actually going to be spending an entire afternoon together. One participant whose parents were both incarcerated met up with an uncle whom he has not seen for about 10 years; as for the other 2 they had both their father and mother with them even though their parents are no longer married or living in the same household.

We got the participants to explain the exercises to their families and everyone went through the paces sportingly. Family members commented that they really had to work on their communication and 1 pair of parents realised that they needed to refine decision making processes within their family. There was indeed learning but just as importantly, everyone had lots of fun. On the way out of the facility, family members kept talking about the experience and thanked us for a meaningful afternoon.

One way of looking at rehabilitation is to instill fear of the consequence of breaking the law and hard discipline. Another is to prepare the inmate for life after incarceration. With our belief that after-care begins on Day 1 of in-care, we are slowly but surely finding a balance through our Restorative Care Programme.

This weekend the kids from our Healthy Start Child Development Centre will be camping. On Sunday morning they will be taking part in a sports day at Bishan. This event is organised by the PCF Kindergartens and it is also a National Day Celebration. It is always good to see our kids being a part of a mainstream event.

On Wednesday, 8 August 2007 our children and youths are putting up a small show entitled ONE Red & White to mark National Day. It will be held at the courtyard between Blocks 26 and 28 Jalan Klinik. The purpose of this small event is for us to emphasise to these young people that we are ONE people that belong to a community that looks out for one another. While Singapore has festivities and celebrations all year round, we felt that National Day is the most appropriate for delivering this message as regardless of race, language or religion we are ONE. The 30 minute show starts at 7pm and this is also a way to connect with the residents of the blocks around our office and of course the Residents' Committee. Do join us if you can.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

If there is light in the soul, there will be beauty in the person. If there is beauty in the person, there will be harmony in the house. If there is harmony in the house, there will be order in the nation. - A Chinese proverb

Dear Team
I am glad to note that we seem to be making some headway cooperating with the Child Protection Department. 2 cases this week seem to suggest this. Firstly, we managed to buy some time for a 10 year old boy and his 2 younger sisters from being taken into the care of the State because their parents were incarcerated. Secondly, we had the agreement of the department to release a 4 year old (Another Week Beyond 0718) who is now under foster care back into our care and eventually her family.

For both situations, we will have to present the Child Protection Officers plans for the children's safety, school attendance and protection from harsh discipline methods. With a little thought, such plans are easy to come up with but the difficulty is sustaining these plans for the longer term. Commitment from the adults in the children's lives including ourselves will also be needed for the longer term.

Getting the children out of the State's radar is arduous work and when we succeed it feels like a victory but then it is only the first step in a long journey. It is not automatic that the children will live happily ever after once out of the State's radar. They will continue to misbehave, offend and unfold before us situations with so many twists and turns that we don't really have to do television for our entertainment. Thus, it will do well to recognise that there are no quick fixes in our work and a helping relationship is a collaborative partnership where we believe the children and youths we serve have the resources, strengths and abilities to change and resolve their difficulties.

By treating the young people as partners means we have to do a fair amount of trusting and letting go. On Monday, I had the privilege of being in a house meeting at Community Beyond, our youth home. Over the past month, some of these youths were testing the limits of our colleagues who had just been assigned there. A most tempting response was to simply come down hard and show them who is boss but we restrained ourselves with a view that more learning will take place if the residents participated in the problem solving and decision making process.

Staff joined in the meeting as participants who like the residents had a stake in the home being well run.  All views presented at the meeting had to be judged on their own merit and not simply because it came from a staff member. At times the discussions went a little off tangent but it was always a fellow resident that pulled everyone back on track. The residents 'told off' each other when they had to and I knew that if staff did it the same way they did, we would have provoked a fight.

As of today, the last 5 days have been the most peaceful and cooperative the Home has experienced this month. We started off defining 'joint decision making with residents' as our goal for the meeting and as we focused on the process, good sense prevailed and we achieved positive outcomes. One positive outcome was a group of room-mates welcoming back another who had been ostracised.

Direct care work is a collaborative endeavour. Stakeholders must help to define desired change and goals.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

We need to dissolve the lie that some people have a right to think of other people as their property. And we need at last to form a circle that includes us all, in which all of us are seen as equal. - Barbara Deming

Dear Team
At training, several of us reflected on the purposes a helping relationship would be trying to achieve. In the context of helping young people, we agreed that our interactions, intervention and our programmes should have an effect that is healing, nurturing or educating.

As we brought up examples and spoke about our experiences we realised that while our original intentions were to be helpful, often when things progress we inadvertently come across to those we serve in a manner that is aggravating, stifling and punishing. Having a sensitive awareness of the effect we have on people and catching it before we do more damage, is an important factor that determines if our help is actually helpful.

Yesterday, a Family Group Conference for the care and protection of a 7 year old boy lasted 5 hours. While the FGC process is designed to facilitate decision making that is healing and supportive for all present, not every conference participant would experience it that way. Often when there is an impasse, it is because a participant feels excluded or even punished for the plans proposed.

In this case, the boy's father strongly resisted any offer of help for the care of his son. This was despite the Child Protection Officer's advice that if the matter could not be resolved, his son will be taken into the care of the State which will be quite traumatic for a 7 year old. The sensible thing to do would be to keep the boy out of State care but one wonders about the reasons for his father's resistance. Is it because he cannot appreciate the trauma his son will experience? More likely, it is because he is feeling cornered and fighting simply because he does not know what else to do. This is a sad situation and fighting or winning arguments with a defeated man is an overkill that can only be aggravating.

Eventually, the boy's father allowed his son to remain in the care of a family friend. However, to help strengthen the care arrangements, we must continue to engage the father so that he will come to terms with it. Being separated from one's child must be hurtful and some healing would be appropriate.

A couple of days ago, while chatting with a volunteer about difficult situations, he commented that 'every lock has a key.' So even if the doors into the lives of those we serve are locked, our helping relationship which works at healing, nurturing and the desire to educate rather than punish can be the key.

Enjoy your weekend!
Gerard 

Have patience. Forgiveness induces healing which follows its own order and timing. Whether you think you have accomplished anything thus far is less important than the fact that forgiveness will call forth change likely to exceed your expectations.- D. Patrick Miller

Dear Team
Several of us found ourselves in rather challenging situations this week where we had more questions than answers.

A 13 year old girl who is 3 months pregnant fiercely asserting her right to be a mother. She expresses her desire by shouting and screaming her point of view during discussions on the matter. She also stays away from home as a way of pressurising her family to accept her point of view. Last night, she persuaded her boyfriend and his brother to intimidate her mother. She is now missing.

This girl has expressed that she was hoping to find meaning in life as a mother. She rationalised that remaining a 'care-free' teenager will have its own set of teenage problems. She is also convinced that she would live happily ever after with her 18 year old boyfriend but she has not been able to convince her family of her conviction. Her family had patiently presented their point of view at a meeting with her boyfriend and his father. Following which, her uncle had a heart-to-heart talk with her boyfriend and her. Each of these attempts by her family is seen by her as their attempts to bully her boyfriend and to deny her wish for motherhood. With each well meaning effort from the family, the girl digs in further.

We understand that this girl is trying to establish an identity for herself which is a natural life- stage. While this understanding helps us to remain patient and calm, it is also obvious that raising a baby with an 18 year old temple medium at this point in time, will limit her options in life. This is the family's opinion but the family is also wise enough to know that simply forcing the girl to act against her wishes in such a situation may aversely affect her in the longer run.

A 16 year old girl who slashes her wrist as a way of organising a situation to her advantage. Self-harm is always a dangerous situation and we always have to respond according to established procedures that put safety first. However, when the dust has settled, our challenge is to help this girl acknowledge that it is a dangerous game she is playing. In a sense, this girl has raised the stakes in challenging authority and there is a strong temptation to put her in her place but is prolonging the power struggle the best way forward? For her development, we have to re-establish trust, support and cooperation in the helping relationship. What can one do to rise above the strong emotions of fear, anger, helplessness, betrayal brought on by a dangerous act to believe in the good within this girl and to believe in our ability to eventually bring that out?

A single father who 'lost it' when he realised that his ex-wife had taken a court order to sell the matrimonial home where his children and him reside. His children and friends vouch that he is a teetotaller so when he made his way down to the coffee shop to numb his senses, we made our way to the police station to file a report that he was planning to harm him wife. A responsible man who lives for his children suddenly gives up when the little resources he has, are taken away from him. How do we convince a man that should he harm his wife, his children will become orphans when he is convinced that for the sake of his children, he has to remove an evil presence from the face of this earth?

I am sharing these stories to acknowledge the challenges our team-mates go through and to recognise their dedication in keeping a cool head and a warm heart for the benefit of the children and youths we serve. I want to thank them for their perseverance in managing ambiguity while clarity struggles to emerge. Such efforts are not beyond the call of duty, they are just the regular journeys at Beyond and I thank you for accompanying the people we serve as they find their way.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard
Success isn't always on the swift; Going slowly can be its own success.

Past copies of Another Week Beyond And Juvenile Justice in Schools can be found on http://www.beyondresearch.sg/notice_board.php?Id=info

Dear Team
Last Sunday's event was a Youth Day Celebration with a total of 11 988 participants of which 8184 were students from 42 schools or educational institutions. To date we have raised $1,052, 212.75. Such success is only possible because sponsors, volunteers, schools and all other stakeholders came together as ONE to Keep Young Lives On Track. We had a few compliments for a job well done but really the credit is not solely ours to take. We could never have done anything at such a scale without the support from all the other stakeholders. I am just grateful that so many stakeholders identify with our cause and lend their hands.

A participant from France dropped us a note after the race. He had a heart operation 2 years ago and this was his first run since then. He found it extremely meaningful and emotional to be sharing the experience with so many young people. As he moved along, he continually encouraged the children who were struggling and he crossed the finish line with a whole bunch of young people in tow.

This guy also suggested that we should encourage all adult runners in next year's community run to do the same. i.e. encouraging everybody along the way so that all can turn out winners. Basically, "You can stand tall without standing on someone. You can be a victor without having victims." - Harriet Woods

Khai our young man from Ang Mo Kio came in first in the VWO Men's Open in a time of 36 minutes 17 seconds. This was 6 minutes behind the Champion of the Men's Open and if he was competing with 'pros' he would have come in 15th. This is quite an achievement considering that he was just another kid on the street 5 months ago. We thank Adidas for grooming Khai into a Champ. This evening it is training as usual for Khai and his friends as they hit the tracks with Adidas.

On the whole, people really enjoyed themselves and with the electronic timing system, the run felt a lot more professional. The good weather kept the crowd in and while Zouk has always been a fantastic venue partner, it really looks like we need a bigger space next year. Let us know if you have suggestions where the run can be. We will check them out.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

We need each other not because we think we do but because we do.

Dear Team
Our children and youths are on their way to camp where they will get adequate rest and nutrition in preparation for Race Day this Sunday. This is the last bit of preparation that began 4 months ago and also a time to recognise, acknowledge and thank our children and youths for the hard work they have put in over the last 4 months. Everyone has prepared as best as they could and so our message to them is to go out there on Sunday and enjoy themselves. In our hearts, by wanting to be a part of the race, they have already won.

As of now, there are 10, 351 registered runners of which 1700 are running competitively. For the first time, competitive runners will be electronically timed. They have a wire concealed in their number tag that sends a signal to our result database the moment they pass through the gantries along the route. Such systems have now become the mainstay of competitive runs and are now expected by competitive runners.

The Citi-MilkRun exists because of the social purposes it hopes to fulfill but as long as there is a competitive element, we owe it to the runner community to do the best job we can. Such an approach is necessary for the continued support of our various stakeholders. The 11000 odd people (including officials) who will show up this Sunday will have varied reasons for doing so but whatever that may be,  we must regard them as supporters of the event and the work we do. Hence, as the phones continue to ring with diverse queries and concerns, each call is important as each call is a call in our support.

I want to thank Amelia, Fook Hong, Jerel, Pei Kwang, Rapti, Serena, Yik and Ziline for keeping our Citi-MilkRun Operations Centre at Block 26 running till late into the evening the last 14 days. I am proud that each and every query, complain or even requests for refunds were handled politely, professionally and with a dose of humour that is so important during these hectic times.

During this period, there were also several heart-warming experiences with stakeholders:

Hilwah, a 15 year old girl who won $1000 in a contest and used all her prize money to sponsor 2 of our children; Wena, a donor whose cheque came in an envelop decorated with stickers and a note with words of encouragement spurring us on to keep up our good work; Esther who made a second donation when she was thinking about her late mother and remembered that her mother loved children.

Over the last 2 days, we have been telling interested people that we have crossed the 10 000th runner mark and we have no more goodie bags or t-shirts to give away but every one congratulated us, said they understood and will still come by to register.

The way things are turning out, it is going to be as big a run as any we ever had. Lets us all keep our sense of humour as we transform the Zouk Car Park into our very own awesome Youth Day Celebration.

See you Sunday!
Gerard

"Though no one can go back and make a brand new start, anyone can start from now and make a brand new ending." - Carl Bard

On Wednesday evening, a 35 year old lady and her husband walked into the office looking for me.  "Hi Gerard, remember me?" She looked familiar and after a few moments I did recall her name but let’s just call her Carol.   Carol beamed widely when I mentioned her name and she went on "It has been 19 years since I last stepped into this place and this is because I just wanted to leave it all behind. After I left here I decided to go back to school and now I am working in a stat board."

Carol was in the neighbourhood because her husband who is an interior decorator had to do some work with a youth whom she acquainted during her time here. I was touched that she decided to drop in just to see if I was still around. Actually, I had little difficulty remembering Carol. She was always zipping around on the back of a motorbike in the car park we used to have in front of our office. Without a helmet the wind was in her hair and as she shrieked and laughed at every turn, any passer-by could see that she knew exactly what a joy ride was all about. The knives that Carol carried with her were not meant for the kitchen and the Cantonese that sputtered from her lips could have come straight out of a classic John Woo movie that was made in Hong Kong.

Her husband listened intently as she rattled off in Cantonese what the neighbourhood was like, what Beyond did for her, and what she got up to. He didn't seem fazed and I guess he obviously was aware who he married.

Today at a case discussion we spoke about a 17 year old girl who coincidentally was called Carol too.  Carol was sent to us because she had stolen a hand phone.  She was not the most on-the-ball participant and dragged her feet when she was with us. Since she was on a mandated programme, we had the option of either sending her back to the criminal justice system or helping her to stay out.

The argument for sending her back to the criminal justice system was that she was exposing herself to at-risk behaviours and if she was out in the community, she would very likely reoffend.  Our choice was obviously to see how we could continue keeping her out of the system. The system has a life of its own which can be very harsh.

Yesterday, a 17 year old boy who is under our care was sent to the remand prison for 3 weeks despite our very positive report of his progress with us over the last 3 months.  He was in our residential programme, has just returned to school and was making plans to return to his family. What was supposedly a routine review turned out to be a nightmare and now we have 3 weeks to advocate on his behalf to keep him out of the Reformative Training Centre.

The justice system is not built to offer assistance or to attend to the young person's development. We have to be very mindful that when young people are sent to us, we are not an extension of the criminal justice system and it is our job to keep them away from it. Managing these young people is not as easy as simply setting restrictions for them because restrictive methods of management have the tendency to set the young people up to fail. And when they fail, it fuels the perspective that these 'young criminals' should have been locked up in the first place.

We are here to believe in them and to be hopeful about their futures. I thank the 35 year old Carol for reminding me that because I did not try to get her 'locked up' she had the freedom to find herself.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

P.s Join us tomorrow for the Milk Fund's 1st Hope Day.
Hope Day is a maiden attempt by MILK - a day to plant seeds of hope and resilience. In addition to group activities for the children, some of the older kids with chronic illnesses will share some of their experiences, life stories and provide inspiration to the younger kids. Time: 2-5 pm Venue: Gardenasia 240 Neo Tiew Crescent S 718898         

Dear Team
Everyday this week, we had lots of volunteers from PSA, St Joseph's Institution, St Andrew's Junior College and Singapore Polytechnic packing our goodie bags for the Citi-MilkRun and we packed bag number 10 000 today. It was a massive task that definitely could not be done without volunteer power.

The value of the Citi-MilkRun is beyond the amount of funds raised. It draws attention to the work we do and it draws more people to help us out. It will be our 7th Run in a couple of weeks and it is a reasonably recognisable event among the runner community.  Pauline, a regular participant who has triumphed in our Ladies Open Category has now become a volunteer coach, motivating our kids whenever she sees them at the track.  

A few months ago, Pauline was doing her own training at the Bukit Timah Track when she noticed a bunch of kids running by in their school shoes. Immediately, she went up to Chris who was in-charge that day and asked if we were from Beyond. She figured that only Beyond kids would be pounding the track in their school shoes and since then, she has been helping out.

On Wednesday, our national football team goalkeeper Lionel Lewis spent a morning with our children sharing about his challenges and encouraging them to continue keeping their lives on track. The kids were really thrilled to meet Lionel and also with the soft drink they got at Zouk, which has always been very supportive of our cause. Lionel is this year's Run Ambassador and he will be showing up again on race day to spur our kids on.

Currently, we have 17 children and youths under the guidance of Adidas; training for 90 minutes on Tuesdays and Thursdays and going for a cross country run at the MacRitchie Reservoir on Saturday mornings. We started with 63 trainees and these 17 have lasted the very rigorous training which includes strengthening exercises, sprints and middle distance running. These kids are now very proud of the pair of Adidas shoes they own and over the last 4 months have been participating in other events as well. In the Legs & Paddles Event last month, one of these boys came in 2nd overall. Recently at the Anlene Orchard Mile, the girls were placed 6th, 7th and 18th.

It is amazing how much these young people have achieved in less than 4 months. Then, they were just noisy kids hanging out in the streets but today, they train with National Athletes and are achieving in running competitions. They have been so impressive that one of the National Athletes who has been training with our youths told us to send over any of our young people who may need a job at a small cafe she runs.

Last Saturday at our Trial Run, we were cheering our kids and all the other runners as they crossed the finish line. I must have seen this scene a hundred times before but it still warmed my heart to see people wanting others to succeed and wishing them well. Watching others succeed and having a hand in it is a life-giving experience. The Citi-MilkRun has rallied people to do just that. The value of the Citi-MilkRun is that it is a race where everyone wins.

Enjoy your weekend!
Gerard

By mutual confidence and mutual aid - great deeds are done, and great discoveries made”
Homer (Greek poet presumed author of the Iliad and the Odyssey, 9th-8th century bc)

Dear Team
Over the past 2 weeks, our youths and children from different programmes were introduced to 'tissue' training. The 'tissue' is a large piece of cloth secured from a high point that serves the same purpose as a rope hanging from the ceiling in a school gym. Climbing the 'tissue' may be easier for those small in frame but it would still require a fair amount of body awareness and self-confidence from them. So, what was very satisfying for us was seeing the 'big and heavy' ones giving it an honest go even though they knew they were unlikely to succeed. This is also self-confidence and an indicator of the trust within the groups.

If it was just a couple of months ago, we are sure that in one of the groups, the big guy would have refused to participate, called the exercise childish and picked a fight with anyone who tried to persuade him to give it a go. Sometimes, when we are meeting these young people daily, we no longer see the efforts they have put in to improve themselves or to cooperate. Thankfully, Andrea our circus trainer who has been away for a while was super quick to notice the changes and complimented the young people for their excellent effort.

On Wednesday, a youth we shall call Jack spoke to 8 children aged 11 to 13 years old at Kids United. This was one of Jack's efforts to put things rights after a Family Group Conference (FGC) that dealt with his offending. He was charged for being in an illegal gaming house and the FGC was a mitigating factor that persuaded the judge to grant him probation even though he had gotten into trouble with the law before. Saras did one hell of a job keeping him out of institutional care because he had been on probation before and another offence would usually  mean that Reformative Training was certain for him.

Jack shared that the past few years, he was involved in fights. He continually saw friends being beaten up and he always felt fear. He also spoke about the futility of belonging to gangs, and there was no point in picking a fight as someone was bound to get hurt. He advised that if one wanted to learn how to fight, learn in a proper way and use the skills in a competition so that one can win medals, instead of hurting someone. 

Jack also told the kids about the importance of focusing on what one is good at, for example, soccer and becoming really good at it.  He shared his experience of being picked for the national rugby team when he was in Primary 6 and getting the chance to travel to Perth. But he did not take up the opportunity as he could not read or write, and felt inferior to the kids from the other schools. He was genuinely afraid that he could not order from a menu. He regretted not pursuing rugby and dropping out of school.

Our children in Kids United were very receptive. One shared his experience of being chased by a gang at the Esplanade when he was out cycling with his friend at 2am in the morning. Another spoke very knowledgeably about 'probation' and 'RTC' as his brother is on probation. The tone was not one of boasting but more of reflective learning, so that was good.

Jack spoke from his heart and shared his feelings. Our Kids benefited and Jack's experience of preparing for the session forced him to reflect on his actions and the consequences his behaviour has had on himself and his family.

Whether it was the tissue training or the sharing session we have created a space for the young people we serve to experience a 'different way of being'. These young people experienced being good, being cooperative and in Jack's case, being a Mentor.

Enjoy your weekend & do join us for the Citi-Milk 'Trial' Run tomorrow at 9.30 am if you can : )
Gerard & Ranga

There's something about being with a group of people who become like family; that must be needed in society.
Jacqueline Bisset

Dear Team
We were invited to speak at the Annual Staff Retreat of a secondary school. The Principal was hoping that we could help the teachers better connect with their students especially those that came across as unmotivated. We spoke about the importance of recognising their students' strengths and observing what students want as a means of keeping them engaged in school. Not sure how the teachers really took to us but the Principal said that the response we provoked was what she was hoping for.

School holidays have just begun and we ran Campland and a leadership programme in 2 different Primary Schools reaching more than 500 children. Out of school, about 50 of our children and youths were participating in the Adidas Street Soccer Tournament over the last 3 days. This evening about 30 youths from different programmes will be going on a 70 km night cycling trip.

It is not just the staff who have been busy but volunteers from PSA have been getting into the act. Right now 33 children are at the PSA Club House for games and dinner. Later, these children will get to catch the latest Pirates of the Caribbean sequel at Vivo City complete with pop corn and drinks. Quite a day out and a big treat for the children I must say and also much thanks to PSA.

Finally, in exactly a month on 1 July we will be having the Citi-MilkRun, our Annual Youth Day Celebration and fund-raiser. The target is 10 000 participants and $1 million as of now $471,629.75 has come in.  We have 4,560 registered runners and about another 400 persons participating in the parade meaning we are about 50% of both the fund-raising and participation targets.

We are better off at this stage compared to previous years and this has been mainly because of the forthcoming support of Citi Singapore the main sponsors and PSA the co-sponsors. However, we still need help if we are to reach the targets. Together, the sponsors have pledged to raise at least $700K and we at Beyond are responsible for raising at least $300K from donations, registration fees, runner sponsors, donation cards and so far we have raised $153K.

We are in need of runners and volunteers who can approach their friends for donations on our behalf. Let me know if you can direct runners to us or can help out as a volunteer fund raiser. Attached is a donation response form or visit www.milkrun.sg to use the online donation facility.

Enjoy your weekend!
Gerard

Talent is God-given, Be Humble.
Fame is man-given, Be Grateful.
Conceit is self-given. Be careful.
-John Wooden

Dear Team,
Come Monday, our Campland Rangers will be managing 450 Primary Five students from a neighbourhood school over 2-days as they undergo various leadership building activities. While Beyond will have Chief Rangers on duty, the key role of these 'experienced' Rangers is to work with 40 new Rangers from a nearby Junior College, and 25 P5 teachers. Together, they will lead smaller groups of students through various adventure learning activities, and conduct briefs and debriefs to highlight key learning points, and acknowledge the achievements of the students.

Before Beyond entered the scene, the school used to pay a camp operator a sizeable sum to run the camp. The teachers' role then was to attend and participate in some of the activities. Beyond, on the other hand, is not a camp operator, and the reason we do this annually is to foster a stronger partnership with the school, so that together we can bring about changes in the school. It is about strengthening the Triangle of Care - the tri-partite relationship between us, the school and parents - so that we can reach out to the at-risk and marginalised students.

So, we have conducted training for the teachers on the strengths model that we employ, our helping principles as well as the triangle of care. We would like to see the teachers play a bigger role in the Camp - leading their students, helping them through the challenges and bonding with them in a way a classroom setting will not allow.

While the Prinicipal is very supportive of this formula, some teachers approach it with some trepidation. Common questions that rose out of fear were "what will you all be doing?", "how come I have to conduct the activity?", "what! I have to play with the kids?"

Once these questions were settled, the teachers generally enjoyed the training which included some theory and lots of activities so they can participate with the children on camp day. At the end of training, most teachers found it 'good' as they knew what was expected of them during the camp, and one found it "great!" as she did not realise that she could have so much fun at her age!

Another teacher recalled the P5 camp last year, when one of her students had attempted the catwalk and completed it eventhough she was initially very scared. With the encouragement of her class mates, rangers and teachers, the girl walked across a tight rope strung at a height, without losing her balance (of course, with the relevant safety harness and helmet, and a trained supervisor conducting the activity). The teacher said that she still uses that experience as an example whenever the student reaches a roadblock. Her reminder to the student is: "You can do more than you think, just like when you did the catwalk."

Beyond's role is as advisor, partner, and motivator in providing the teachers, students, and the school an opportunity to see each other in a different light, so they begin to identify their own strengths and become a stronger community.

Have a great weekend,
Ranga 

"Reminding others that they make our life richer, enriches us" - Anonymous

“We discover in others what others hide from us, and we recognize in others what we hide from ourselves.”
Vauvenargues, Marquis de quotes (French moralist and essayist, 1715-1747)

Dear Team
We are into the 2nd phase of our work in the Reformative Training Centre. Myrle and Fawzi have been travelling all over Singapore to touch base with the families of the programme's participants. It has not been exactly easy as addresses were outdated and few had phone numbers where we could arrange appointments. So it was lots of leg work.

To add to the difficulty, many of the participants were apprehensive about us meeting their families. Most warmed up to the idea only when we told them that we got the impression from our home visits that their family really did care about their well being and looked forward to their return. Of course not every family was equally enthusiastic but in general they bothered.

WJ was one participant who continually told us from Day One not to bother. He explained that his family did not care and he did not even know where they were. WJ was one of our most cooperative participants but one was really inclined to believe his situation simply by the way he carried himself. WJ was heavily tattooed from head to toe and we mean head to toe and he did look like he was deep into secret society culture. Often he told us that he would have to go back into illegal activities upon his release simply to make a living as no one would accept him for the way he looked.

After several attempts to locate his family, we finally found his mother, and boy, what a different picture we got. WJ was missed by his family and they were really encouraged that they had our support to reconnect with WJ. Now we have his father's contact and we are looking forward to meeting him too.

Sometimes when we have seen one case too many, we have a tendency to stereo-type the people we engage. We lump them all under the category 'problematic'. People have problems but no matter how bad the situation appears they have resources too. Our job as a case worker is to be a Resource Finder, this is the R in our ART of Social Work.

I am sure if we keep at it, we will uncover more resources that WJ may have forgotten he has. Other participants in the programme tend to leave WJ alone but I am also quite sure that they can be resources for WJ if he allowed them be such. Hence, we need to facilitate a mutual help relationship between WJ and the other participants if it is needed at some point in time.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

“The greatest achievement of the human spirit is to live up to one's opportunities and make the most of one's resources.”
Vauvenargues, Marquis de quotes (French moralist and essayist, 1715-1747)

"A good social worker always needs a pen as well as a pin." - Frank Hans Fruechtel

Dear Team
The above was a key message at the Diploma Graduation Ceremony last Sunday as our graduates collected a pen and a collar pin along with their certificates.  A pin to provoke and a pen to advocate. A pen is also to heal should the provocation from the pin burst a bubble. Largely, a pen is use to inform, inspire and invite more to get involved with the work we do.

This week I was pleasantly surprised to receive a call from a Superintendent of Schools who told me that she had read our latest Juvenile Justice email update and was pleased to learn that there was a school that was willing to set aside curriculum time to strengthen the teacher-student and the home-school relationships. She wanted to know which school we were writing about so that she could send them a note of encouragement and affirmation to keep up the good work. I told her that there were more than 20 other schools we worked with and I would send her a list and perhaps she could affirm them too. This positive development was a result from the use of a pen.

At a training session on Wednesday, we were discussing how to help a 34 year old mother who has 9 children. Currently, she has 2 infants from her second marriage and 5 of her children from her previous marriage have been removed by the Child Protection Department. As participants were asked what they thought about the woman, the positives were hard to come by. Some participants expressed concern for the children and others came up with solutions or ideas how the situation could be improved.

As the trainer, I was a rather disturbed that no one had anything to say about the mother. The silence was deafening. No one in the room had 9 children and many were not even mothers or parents so what makes us experts of this woman's situation? So I asked "Who would like to trade places with this woman? If we really think we know better, why not trade places and see if we will survive?" This was the use of a pin to jolt us up from our world into the woman's reality.

For me it was amazing that this woman still has the WILL to be a mother and to believe in love all over again. She leaves the house every morning at 5 am to assist her husband as he ferries children to school for a fare. Despite the inconveniences she must have experienced with so many of her children stuck in the welfare system, she continues to believe in her ability as a mother. At 34 years old she believes that she still has much life to live for and refuses hang her head low as the criticisms from the welfare system fly in her face.

I believe it is a privilege to enter into realities or life worlds that are so far away from our own. People like this 34 year old mother enrich our lives professionally and personally. Offering our positive regard and respect to value her as a fellow human being striving to live a fulfilling life would be the least we can do. Often during training, many participants express that the way to empathy is to come down to the level of the people we serve. I have to say let us get rid of 'our level' and 'their level' from our vocabulary because levels imply that we are 'high life' and they are 'low life.' This is definitely not respectful.

It would certainly be a whole lot more respectful to view the people we serve as living in life-worlds that we have yet to explore. Some of these 'exotic' destinations challenge us to get out of our comfort zones and if we proceed we will see a whole new world.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

Dear Team,
This Sunday, 29 of Beyond's team will receive their certificates for the Diploma in Social Work Practice conferred by the University of Bamberg. It was a trying journey for some of them, as they balanced work and study since the course started in February last year and ended in January this year. There were four parts -- e-learning which required them to submit assignments online to their tutors in Germany; the lectures and tutorials in September last year when the German team came to Beyond; the written exam at the end of the lectures; and finally the thesis which was handed in in January this year.

On Sunday, a special ceremony has been planned, where staff, Board members and the graduates' families will join together in celebrating their success. Now, Beyond has qualified community workers who can contribute to the organisation as our work grows.

Beyond's work has become more challenging in the past year as we tackle issues such as child abuse. With the Safekids programme, that is run in close partnership with MCYS, our workers find that they have to be skilled to handle crisis situations where mature decisions are necessary. This afternoon, our HealthyStart workers attended a court hearing in the hope of advocating for a mother who's 3 children -- 3 years, a year plus, and 6 months old -- were already in foster care and her eldest, a 4-year-old stood the chance of going the same route as well.

The downside was, based on the facts presented, the judge decided that it was better for the child to be placed in foster care. The upside -  the Healthystart worker met up with the MCYS' child protection officer who also handles a few other cases from Beyond to discuss the possibility of involving parents in the meeting that the Ministry calls to discuss the care plan for children. The officer was open to the idea. Though the 'how-to' has not been firmed up yet, there was openness to listen to our suggestion of greater parental involvement in the care plan for children.

What also became apparent is the need for Beyond to work more closely with the mother in a situation like this to monitor the care plan. The mother is pregnant with her 5th child, and would need all our support to turn things around with her husband before the baby arrives. If not, she might find herself in court again. 

It has been a tough week and day for the team, made tougher by the fact the 4-year-old who was removed celebrated her fourth birthday in court today, and with a foster family.

Thankfully, not every day is tough as this, and we have a team that is willing to dig in their heels and weather the storm when it does strike. On the management's part, we will continue to provide a listening ear and lots of training such as the Diploma programme and Journey Beyond so we have the necessary skills.

Have a good weekend, and do wish all our graduates a fabulous future of social work practice!
 
Regards,
Ranga

"It takes a village to raise a child" - African Proverb

Dear Team
Thank you for spending today reviewing our Key Operating Objectives for the year. For some of us, it was difficult when we were challenged by our colleagues but I am glad for the climate of trust among us. We are one team and the challenges are strengthening Beyond as a whole. Processes like this are necessary as our work grows and we must keep getting better at keeping track of our work plans and making the necessary adjustments when needed.

For some Programmes, we realised that we may have been too ambitious with objectives, like the projected number of people reached or the outcomes of positive behaviours which may not be achievable. Was it something we could have done within our control or were we a tad naive? These are difficult questions for us to think about and the important thing is that we respond positively from here on and improve.

Now for some information about our work at the Healthy Start Centre. Our Community Workers have started hanging out at the Healthy Start Child Development Centre in the morning when the parents bring their kids. This has turned out to be a very natural opportunity to connect with the parents and to find a way to involve them in a larger way, giving them a say in the programmes that we have for the kids. We started doing this intentionally because these parents are from very disadvantaged circumstances and unless we put in an intentional effort, we may run the risk of eventually not understanding them at all as they are not likely take the first step to speak to us.

Both the points covered today shows the need for continually reviewing and assessing our methods so we stay on track in ensuring every child and youth has the opportunity to refuse a lifestyle of delinquency and welfare dependency. 

Enjoy you weekend!
Gerard

Dear Team
More than 110 children and youths performed their hearts out at Tiong Bahru Plaza last Saturday. It was
an opportunity for these young people to do something positive for their community and a chance for the community to view them in positive light. This was another effort of ours to help our young people experience the resources or the strengths they have within them.

At Journey Beyond this week, participants listed 'resourcefulness' as a quality that would help us all do our jobs better. When asked to elaborate, many described resourcefulness as the ability to link our beneficiaries to resources or our ability to mobilise resources for our beneficiaries. These were valid definitions but it is very easy to be resourceful when there is an abundance of resources. Singapore being such an organised place, there are databases where all these resources are available and anyone with a little common sense and computer skills would be able to access them. So what do we really mean when we say 'being resourceful' is an important quality for us to have? Hence, I was quite glad that we finally came to the conclusion that a resourceful worker is one who can bring out or find the resources within a person even when the situation is seemingly hopeless.

Jane is 32 and a mother of a 3 year old child who is applying to be on the government's HOPE (Home Ownership Plus Education) Scheme. Her husband had just died of AIDS and she is HIV positive. When we met her, she was feeling really down and she told us that the monthly cocktail of drugs that the doctors have recommended amounted to $1000. There was no way she could afford that and perhaps her anger and disappointment towards her deceased husband was all that she had.

It was really a sad situation and everyone who was discussing the case were stumped by deep feelings of inadequacy. You see when we work on the basis that we have resources to give, we will come across situations like this where we don't. What we have to do is to develop skills where we can find the resources within Jane. She is still alive and while she is probably not in the state of mind to think about the future, she is still concerned about her daughter's current well being. She has a daughter that is oblivious to her health condition but loves her a whole lot and she demonstrates this by giving Jane a big hug every time Jane looks a little sad. Jane still wants to live for her daughter and we can help her work towards being remembered as a good parent while she was around. These can be aspirations, wishes and wills we can cultivate in Jane; these can be Jane's resources and strengths. This is HOPE.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

“Our inner strengths, experiences, and truths cannot be lost, destroyed, or taken away. Every person has an inborn worth and can contribute to the human community. We all can treat one another with dignity and respect, provide opportunities to grow toward our fullest lives and help one another discover and develop our unique gifts. We each deserve this and we all can extend it to others.”-Anonymous

Dear Team
When Tiong Bahru Plaza opened some years back, their tagline was "A House of Fun." We approached them to see if they would also be "A Home with a Heart." Back then, we were concerned that we would lose the children and youths we served to the shopping mall. We also figured that we would have to address more shop lifting incidents, fist fights and other petty youth crime. Hence, we wanted to establish a working relationship with them to deal with the youth problems that we anticipated would happen.

We were a little naive though and I think as we honestly told them about the kids were served, we must have come across as do-gooders fighting a lost cause. We did not make any headway with our ideas such as stationing a youth worker there, running youth oriented activities like concerts, skateboarding lessons and so forth. Perhaps, our inability then, to portray the strengths or the positive in the young people we served did a disservice to them as well as our work. On hindsight, we realised that it was logical for the Plaza to ignore us as troublesome young people in a shopping mall does not make good business sense.

With time we have become a little less naive and I am really glad that tomorrow at 11am and 1 pm, more than 50 of  our children and youths will be putting up our street show called ONE at the Tiong Bahru Plaza Atrium. Tiong Bahru Plaza has been most supportive of our efforts and they are providing the stage and sound system too. Thanks Ziline for the arrangements.

During the past week it was really heartening for me to see how 3 quiet residents in our Kids United Home being the most enthusiastic performers during rehearsals; dancing, singing and reading poetry. Yes, these kids who attend the LIFE Programme for foundational English skills are now reading and credit goes to Letch, Shina, Shedah and Om as well all our volunteers for getting them there.

Tomorrow's show will include our pre-schoolers, our children, our youths from our outposts and even a band from a school where we are based. All of them are coming together as ONE to show our community that we are all a part of ONE community.

The staff will be there supporting the show so do join us if you can. My wish is that the audience will look to our young people and say
Sing your music and dance your dance, let the world be blind.
Then teach us how to hear your music and how to dance your dance. - The Bowman

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

How far that little candle throws its beams! So shines a good dead in a naughty world.
William Shakespeare

Dear Team
A couple of days ago, I had the privilege of speaking with a 12 year old girl who admittedly had just joined a gang. I was told that she was usually stubborn, defiant and uncooperative. Before I approached her, I took a look at her written account of the day she 'signed-up' with the gang and went missing from our programme. She related how her first visit to the gang got her into an argument with the other girls and how she came out of a settlement talk late in the evening, unscathed but a little shaken.

My task was to get her to cooperate with an aunt who had offered to see to her longer-term care. It so happened that this was the latest adventure in her life and it would have been unreal to ignore it. Perhaps she was expecting me to chide her for her foolishness so when I enquired if the boys at the gang were good looking, she smiled coyly and let flow stories of love-rivalries between girls she knew and hinted that she visited the gang to check out the stories.

She was in a good mood and eventually, we moved on to discussing how she could do something nice for her aunt and we came up with the idea of a collage of photographs that would serve as a token of her appreciation as well as a family portrait to be displayed at home. She also told me that her aunt was the only person she really respected and would promise her in the presence of others that she would stay away from the gang if her aunt continued to look after her. When I debriefed the session, her caseworker told me that the girl was unusually cooperative and wondered what did I do

I am concerned that children and youths are putting themselves in the face of various risks when they associate with so called gangs. Many are very quickly identified by the police and if lucky, they end up with the Streetwise or Guidance Programmes instead of the justice system. However, we have to view these gang associations or memberships in perspective and not simply see every kid as a 'gangster'. Actually, when we get to know them better, we may find out that being a gangster was never on their minds when they walked into a gang but perhaps they were looking for friendships, excitement, fun and other teenage concerns.

Unfortunately, when someone comes to us identified as gang-member, we run the risk of responding to them as such. This would really be jumping the gun and not helpful for the helping relationship. I connected with this 12 year old by trying to understand what was going on with her when she went AWOL from us. I discovered that it was about boys, curiosity and other naughty teenage stuff.

Maybe when we cannot connect with young people, it is because we have grown too old to remember what fun it is to be a little naughty or perhaps we are too shy or uptight to acknowledge that we have a naughty side too. You don't?......how sad : )

Enjoy your long weekend!
Gerard

Knowing the unknowable and showing the unshowable, we become more integrated, more whole. Shadow feels acknowledged and has less need to jump out unexpectedly and do harm. Have you invited your Shadow Side to come out and play lately? - An explanation for Mardi Gras by John Heider

Dear Team
At a staff meeting that regularly looks into the improvement of our Volunteer Management Practices, it was highlighted that we need to help our volunteers to understand the challenges of a voluntary welfare organisation like us and to help them acquire a healthy respect for those we serve. We also need to acknowledge their contributions and to create opportunities where they can meaningfully contribute. However, we must always be mindful that volunteers are not 'free labour' that do the things full-time staff do not want to do or that they are only capable of menial tasks.

Our volunteers contribute at all levels of running the organisation. Our fund raising, our service direction, our governance, our advocacy to the government and so forth. Often, they do things that full-time staff cannot do and bring in valuable resources and expertise that are beyond the operating budgets of voluntary welfare organisations. 

This week 2 volunteers helped us significantly with a family where both parents are substance abusers. This was a child protection case that recently came to our attention and so we have yet to establish a strong working relationship with the family. We were clear though that as far as possible the problem should be resolved in the community and only referred to MCYS when the safety of the child is compromised. Once the case is in the system, there would be a strong likelihood that the child will be institutionalised and it will be an uphill task for him to return to his family before he reaches 16 years old.

This family informed us about the existence of these volunteers when we met them. They were from a church near where the family was living and have been very concerned about the well-being of the children and their parents. Without an awareness or understanding of the longer term implications of reporting the case to the authorities, they thought that the best thing to do was to report the family to the authorities. Thankfully, the family tied us up with them and we had a good discussion about their concerns and the advantages of resolving family problems within the community.

These volunteers decided then not to report the case for the moment and they came up with an action plan that looked into the safety of the children. Both parents have agreed to seek medical treatment and to attend the  Community Addiction and Management Programme at IMH. The volunteers and us will share the responsibility of closely monitoring the well-being of the child. We will also work together in locating relatives and people within the family's support network to look into the longer term care of the child if the situation worsens.

The strong rapport these 2 volunteers had with the family was the difference that contributed significantly towards the parents' participation in the problem solving process.  They were closer to being the family's natural support network than us and as such, we could not have been as effective. They were also able to follow-up very quickly and provide individualised attention since they only had a 'caseload' of 1.

Effective service is really not about professionals doing the job but about people in a community sharing the responsibility of caring.

Enjoy your weekend!
Gerard

People willing to live together in truth form my community. They are my companions on life's journey. I cherish them. -  John Heider
 
Past copies of Another Week Beyond And Juvenile Justice in Schools can be found on http://www.beyondresearch.sg/notice_board.php?Id=info

The young, free to act on their own initiative, can lead their elders in the direction of the unknown. The children, the young must ask the questions that we would never think to ask, but enough trust must be re-established so that the elders will be permitted to work with them on the answers. - Margaret Mead

Dear Team
A couple of weeks ago a 12 year old boy contacted Chris, our Youth United Outreach Worker at Ang Mo Kio on her handphone at about 8 pm and told her that he had run away from home and needed help. Chris could only vaguely place his face as he was just a kid she recently met once. Anyway, she made her way to Macpherson Estate, located the chap among a bunch of other kids and eventually persuaded him to return with her to Hope Centre where we put him up for the night.

The kid was adamant that he did not want to go home but we managed to get the details out of him and kept the family informed of the entire situation. The family informed his school teachers and the next morning a Ministry of Education Counsellor and his teacher brought him home. The situation did not look very promising that morning as the kid was fuming as he left us and we thought that he would probably run away again the moment he got the chance.

Over the past 2 weeks, Chris connected with several family members and eventually worked out an arrangement for the boy to spend some time with his father on a regular basis. The father had been rather disconnected from his family for some time but has now started spending some time with his son. He brought his son to his work place and both father and son had a great time looking at how scrap metal was packed and recycled. Father may be only holding a modest job as a daily rated worker with a scrap metal collector but his son now describes him as cool.

Most of our programmes for children or youths are designed to attend to very specific purposes e.g. Streetwise and Guidance Programmes are for kids referred by the police and the work is carried out within a certain pre-defined framework. However, the 'smart' kids who do not get caught or those who shun structured activity are no less at risk and Youth United is our programme that literally meets these kids on their turf.

Our outreach teams are based at Ang Mo Kio, Ghim Moh/ Tanglin Halt and Bukit Ho Swee/Bukit Merah and at the moment, we are a street resource to about 300 youths. The majority of these youths initially shunned organised activity but through our 'friendship' they have been taking part in sports and other developmental activities enthusiastically. At Ang Mo Kio, a few of them are even considering our suggestion to join a youth committee at the Community Centre.

The cases our outreach colleagues have been managing are also those that schools and other centre-based agencies or programmes cannot reach. Despite the rather apparent risk factors such as dropping out of school, under-age drinking, late nights, unemployment and so forth, none of these youths would actually think they have a problem. Suggesting so would evoke a fiery protest from them. They would even organise their entire peer group to ostracise any adult that regards them as problematic. Hence, our outreach workers have to establish a street presence that comes across as non-threatening allies who are credible and trustworthy.

Last Friday, a whole bunch of youths from our different outposts went on a night hike passing through the old Bukit Timah Railway tracks and a couple of days before they all had a great time at an inter-outpost soccer tournament we ran. What heartened us was how these young people from different estates could come together in friendship and cooperation. It was not too long ago when they would have simply stared each other down and broken into a fist fight. Great job, Chris, Nick, Din, Adeline, Ryan and Yet for your many hours on the street, late into the night.

Enjoy your weekend!
Gerard

The secret message communicated to most young people today by the society around them is that they are not needed, that the society will run itself quite nicely until they - at some distant point in the future - will take over the reigns. Yet the fact is that the society is not running itself nicely... because the rest of us need all the energy, brains, imagination and talent that young people can bring to bear down on our difficulties. For society to attempt to solve its desperate problems without the full participation of even very young people is imbecile." - Alvin Toffler

"I have come to believe that one thing people cannot bear is a sense of injustice. Poverty, cold, even hunger are more bearable than injustice."
Fenwick, Millicent U.S.Senator (1910-1992)

Dear Team
The Straits Times and the New Paper covered the story of a 16 year old boy who had his 5 year jail sentence overturned by the High Court and he was sent for reformative training instead. Last November, this boy told the district judge to send him directly to jail as he was not interested in reformative training. To make sure he got his way, he even let swing a string of expletives in court.

It appears that the High Court took into consideration the tender age of the boy and the longer term impact of a jail sentence. Sending the boy for reformative training is also in line with the restorative justice principles of the Juvenile Justice System. The boy cannot be cared for in the community but at least reformative training will provide more opportunities for rehabilitation and education.

For us, this is really quite heartening as we have been championing restorative justice principles over the past 2 years. We had nothing to do with this case but over the past 2 years, we have taken various opportunities to share our views on restorative justice in a consistent fashion. We have spoken at focus groups, created a monthly email to school management, helped MCYS co-ordinate 'emergency' Family Group Conferences and submitted feedback to the Courts when invited.

For those who are new, here are the Restorative Justice Principles that guide us when we formulate Care Plans for young offenders:
• Social problems are best resolved within the community and we avoid judicial proceedings where possible
• Care plans must take the age of the offender into account
• Care Plans for the offender must strengthen families
• Care Plans must not be so restrictive that they set the offender up for failure
• Victims should be given the opportunity to have their interests taken into consideration.
In all probability, restorative justice principles were already on its way to this part of the world but perhaps our little efforts helped certain segments of our community take notice of them. Our efforts listed above are examples of the quiet advocacy that we have built into our daily work and each of us working on the ground actually has a wealth of experience that can be put together as important information to shape our community. So your opinions and views are important and do continue to share them. Information for advocacy need not be loud but it needs to be accurate, consistent, relevant and measured so that people do not feel 'shouted' at but feel that they are respectfully spoken to or consulted.

Enjoy your weekend!
Gerard

"To see what is right, and not do it, is want of courage, or of principle."
Confucius Chinese Philosopher (551-479 BC)

Past copies of Another Week Beyond And Juvenile Justice in Schools can be found on http://www.beyondresearch.sg/notice_board.php?Id=info

What you are aware of, you are in control
What you are not aware of, is in control of you.
Anthony de Mello

Dear Team
Children and youths from the different programmes were involved martial arts based programmes this week. The Enshin Karate School offers free lessons on Saturday mornings and the Streetwise Programme goes through the Rock and Water Programme on Friday evenings. Just wanted everyone to know that we have thought deeply and hard over the introduction of martial arts; firming up an appropriate philosophy and most importantly, appointing the right instructors who ensure that the lessons are conducted in a manner that brings about our desired outcome.

Our young people are a boisterous lot where aggression and bullying are not uncommon when they want to establish a pecking order within their groups. Often, what starts off as harmless teasing escalates into a fight as they are unable to see the likely consequences of their behaviours and actions. The desire to climb the pecking order clouds reasonable thinking and creates vulnerable egos that are easily bruised. Another outcome of such a mental state is forming a very unrealistic view of one's physical prowess which results in high-risk behaviours.

The desired outcome of engaging these young people in martial arts is for them to gain a realistic awareness of their physical prowess and to develop a maturity and belief system where they realise that the best form of self-defence is non-violence and the appreciation of the ill effects of violence. It sounds paradoxical but I would just like to share how I witnessed it being done.

A big oaf of a youth was sniggering half the time during a Rock and Water lesson and when he was invited to volunteer as a model to assist the instructor, he took the opportunity to attack the instructor without warning. Within a few seconds his cheek was on the floor and his arms firmly locked at his back. Instead of simply reprimanding the boy, there was an immediate debrief where the instructor spoke of the trust and mutual respect among trainees that was broken as well as the danger of impulsive action. The attacker was not belittled but the instructor gently asked him if he was ok and offered to apologise if he had hurt him. The group then discussed the dangers of the need for self-control and how dangerous it would have been if this had happened out of the classroom as someone facing the floor would usually have had his head kicked unconscious. The group reckoned that such or risk pain were not necessary.

There is a natural tendency for us to shield our children from risky situations but a small dosage of risk or pain as in the context of our martial arts classes, serves as an immunisation against riskier situations. What I just described was a sensational incident but during the lessons I saw the instructors constantly respecting the boys by speaking to them gently, showing them their weaknesses and in the process demonstrating the ill-effects of violence in the most visually explicit way. After the lessons I do not see boys behaving in macho fashion but rather boys in a contemplative mood. All's well for now but we remain vigilant that martial arts as a means of engagement continues to be a positive force.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

Your pain is the breaking of the shell that encloses your understanding.
Kahlil Gibran (1883 - 1931) Lebanese-American Poet Philosopher & Artist

Dear Team
At a Kids United Daily Care Team Meeting, members reaffirmed their commitment to tackle the top 4 issues that residential and day-care facilities both pose:
1. Runaways
2. Substance abuse
3. Aggressive behaviours, bullying & theft
4. Sex and sexuality.

Regardless of the profile of its residents, every such facility that has been running for some time would have had to deal with these issues at some point or other. Hence, working in such settings can be a daunting task and I am very grateful that every team member chose to remain with the Programme and to take up the challenge fully aware that they will be expected to have the temperament, presence of mind, maturity and skills when the going gets tough. I am heartened that even after 2 very difficult years, the Kids United Team still stands firmly by their motto that no child is too rough or tough for them to believe in. In fact, they look forward to improving the programme and continually sharpening their skills.

Still on 'residential' issues, the Kids United Home had a surprise inspection by the Board of Visitors appointed by MCYS and we came out well. All our administration procedures were in order, our living facilities were well managed and our children were in their opinion, happy and well taken care off. Well done, Bien, Michelle, Pathma, Sam and of course Shaw for your conscientiously management of the Kids United Home.

We also held our 3rd staff recruitment orientation for this year and since January, we have met more than 80 people but we have only offered jobs to 3 persons so far. Guess we have to be certain that people who join us actually thrive in the difficult situations our jobs present. As professional helpers, the more challenging the case, the more excited we should be about the task at hand. We may not always succeed but such challenges test our Strengths and Will to do this work. A formula that we use to analyse our progress with the people we work with is Strengths x Will = Impact. i.e. if either Strengths or Will is 0, Impact will be 0. This formula would apply to us the helping professional as well. So I could never say it enough but thanks for sharing your strengths and going about your work in such a strong-willed fashion. The children, youths and their families will be impacted.

Enjoy your weekend!
Gerard

Where are there are two desires in a man's heart he has no choice between the two but must obey the strongest.
- Mark Twain in Eruption

Past copies of Another Week Beyond And Juvenile Justice in Schools can be found on
http://www.beyondresearch.sg/notice_board.php?Id=info

Simplicity before understanding is simplistic; simplicity after understanding is simple.
Edward de Bono

Dear Team
Several of our colleagues continued to organise discussions to hone their case management skills and many realised just how easily it is to form a closured or distorted view of a problem situation if one does not listen to the problem as told by the stakeholder. As professionals we have actually formed an unhelpful habit of diagnosing a problem based on acquired experiences and knowledge. This diagnosis is usually 'over-simplified' and usually comes out in a one-liner e.g. Tom has a school refusal problem or Tom has street-corner gang associations or Tom does not have a supportive home environment and so forth.

Such definitions may be helpful for a collective picture that enables us to mobilise resources to address a problematic situation but on the ground, every case is really different and must be managed in response to what each stakeholder in the case brings to the table. Always, when we take the time to listen carefully to each stakeholder, we will develop an overview of the situation that is very different from the presenting problem. More importantly, we will have a realistic view of what can or cannot be changed at that point in time. If we can do this well, we will not be barking up the wrong tree or banging our heads against the wall.

As helpers, we are often so enthusiastic about coming up with solutions but if we do not have an accurate picture of a problem situation, our solutions are off the mark anyway. In short, effective case management is not so much about finding solutions but about a comprehensive and accurate assessment of the problem situation and in our context, managing the Wills or Wishes of the different stakeholders in the best interest of the child or young person.

I am really glad that we are taking the case discussions seriously and working hard to improve our skills. The cases we take on are difficult and we just need to keep on improving our skills if we are to make any meaningful headway.

I would also like to thank those who helped make the long Chinese New Year weekend a little more meaningful for some of our children and youths. Thanks Shaw for working hard to ensure that the children in our Kids United Home were reunited with their families over the holiday period. Thanks also for 'opening' your home for the youths at Community Beyond who could not go home. Thanks Kumaran for supporting the entrepreneurial efforts of a youth who set up a satay stall.

Finally, just a gentle reminder that our Patron's Chinese New Year event for our children and youths will be at Block 26 Jalan Klinik tomorrow from 3 to 5 pm. Do drop by if you can.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

“Do not conquer the world with force, for force only causes resistance. Thorns spring up when an army passes. Years of misery follow a great victory. Do only what needs to be done without using violence.”
Tao Te Ching

If you know, to recognize that you know,
If you don't know, to realize that you don't know:
That is knowledge. - Confucius

Dear Team
During Journey Beyond this week, we highlighted the helping trap that a helper falls into when he assumes the role of a rescuer. It is a pillar of the helping profession and a common maxim that we are here to help people help themselves. However, when we are really honest about our efforts, we realise that we are often rescuing and denying others the responsibility to take charge of their lives.

Overtime, rescuers end up feeling like victims because the people they are helping keep coming back for more; they keep coming back even when the rescuer has nothing more to give. Rescuers who feel like victims then react by blaming or persecuting the very people they set out to help in the first place. No helper would want to see himself as a persecutor but it a common occurrence among voluntary and professional helpers.

To do our work well, we just need to continually think about the quality of our work and it will be downhill when we stop thinking or think that we already know. A sense of humility and openness is absolutely necessary and I am glad to note that this week several teams got together in the spirit of learning. Healthy Start and the Family Service Teams worked hard at their case management skills, the Children, Youth, Restorative Justice and Residential Teams reflected on the Rock and Water positions they take with their charges and a mixed group of Managers got together to reflect on their roles, challenges and the task of building and sustaining their colleagues.

On Valentine's Day, the Streetwise Programme Participants and their family members had a very sumptuous and pleasant steamboat dinner in our classrooms. Since Chinese New Year is coming up, it was a 2-in-1 celebration where the staff shared a good time with the participants and their families. By hosting this event, we conveyed our respect for the families especially the parents in a culturally appropriate manner and this should go some way in strengthening our partnership that looks into the best interest of their children. Well done Anne-Marie and Jerry for administering the family meetings required by the Streetwise Programme in such a meaningful and respectful manner. Parents with children in the Streetwise Programme are often disappointed and defensive about their situation and the steamboats would have melted the ice for your next parent meeting.

This morning, the Healthy Start pre-schoolers celebrated Chinese New Year with the ABC Child Development Centre (CDC) in Tampines. Our children brought gifts of home-made greeting cards and red packets filled with chocolate wrapped in gold-coloured foil. They came home with a bag of goodies too but more importantly the experience of feeling welcomed during a Chinese Celebration. You see, the majority of our children are not Chinese and so our teachers decided that to really experience Chinese New Year, our children had to be with other Chinese children taking part in an 'authentic' Chinese event. ABC is operated by a Buddhist group and they do not have any non-Chinese children so it was a first of sorts for them too to be with our children.

Our children applauded their host who entertained them with a play about the legend of 'nian' (a pun on the Chinese word for 'year') as well as a couple of cultural dances. They even got a lesson on the proper use of chopsticks as they had to 'lo-hei' (toss to good fortune) with their hosts as well. This morning's activity is one of many in a series that our Healthy Start CDC has planned to help our children value and appreciate the rich multi-ethnic cultures we have in Singapore. When the next non-Chinese festival comes around, our children will return the favour and play host to the children from ABC.

Enjoy your long Chinese New Year weekend!
Gerard

Dear Team
As the Singapore Football Team heads off to Thailand for the 2nd leg of the ASEAN Football Finals this weekend, it's football fever for many. It is also football fever for 40 of our kids but for a different reason. This week, these kids had the privilege to attend a football clinic conducted by Professor Dr. Elio Salvador who flew in to conduct a series of clinics called Brazilian Magic Football Clinic in Asia.

The clinic was held at the Balestier ITE Campus and although instructions were in Portuguese and delivered in English through an interpreter, the kids were giving the coach their full attention and cooperation. They even remembered what was said during the session and were able to repeat them to us a few days later e.g. a good player never stops running on the field and so forth.

This privilege was jointly made possible by Football Weekly and Tiong Bahru Football Club and it had the support of the Brazilian Ministry of Sports who has a national policy of using sports for social inclusion. I am pleased that our kids attended this mainly because it was a mainstream activity and they were included. At Beyond and in social work, we sometimes create opportunities for our beneficiaries because mainstream opportunities are not easily accessible. So for example we have soccer training and foundational learning programmes like LIFE but it will always be our goal in the longer run that participants in our programmes no longer need us and move on to a mainstream programme. The recent football clinic was a one off-thing but was important for the fact that our kids had the opportunity to have fun with mainstream kids.

Inclusion and social integration is a journey where we never arrive but it is also a journey that we cannot afford not to take. I am also so glad that the Healthy Start Child Development Centre has started a series of field trips where the children are exposed to the various ethnicities and cultures we have in Singapore. The children get to experience various aspects of a culture such as food, festivals, places of worship and so forth. This week a group visited Little India and the St Andrew's Cathedral. At a temple in Little India, they were welcomed and sent off with the Hindu blessing of Vibuthi which has a similar symbolic meaning to Ash Wednesday in the Anglican and Catholic Churches. The ash on the forehead reminds us that we will all eventually turn to dust and are similar in that sense that we won't be here forever.

The way I see it and I hope the kids eventually do is that despite our seemingly different cultures, we can always find much in common and if so, the differences are just the spice of life. Fighting over them kills the flavour of life.

Enjoy your weekend!
Gerard

Dear Team
For those of us on our Diploma in Social Work Practice Programme, the week has been frantic for them as they worked at tidying up their final paper submission which is due on 31 January 07. The one common thing about most students all over is that they enjoy burning the midnight oil. Oh well, guess our guys are no different but just wanted to say 'Hang in there!'

This week I would like to elaborate on the Time Out Learning Centre Programme that we are now conducting at the YMCA's Project Bridge Centre in Woodlands. On a daily basis, the programme comprises:
1. Revision of schoolwork
2. 'Teacher' of the Day
3. Experiential Learning or Moral Reasoning Training
There is also a Project Segment where the participants have to come up with a project that they think would be beneficial to the community.

Revision of School Work
The revision of schoolwork section reminds the participants that they are first and foremost students with student obligations. The TOLC is not a holiday enrichment programme for them while their peers are in school.

'Teacher' of the Day
Here participants take turns to make a presentation on a topic of their choice. The idea was to give them the experience of standing in front of a class and sometimes in front of a very unruly class. So far the participants have taken this reasonably well and many have expressed that they now feel a little for what it must be like for their teacher to face an uncooperative class. The topics that participants have spoken about included 'Jackets that are Trendy', 'Mastering the Yo-yo' and 'Everything you need to know about a Fishing Rod' among others.

We are really glad that besides helping the students empathise with the difficulties of their teachers, this is turning out to be an activity where the participants get to be 'Experts of their Life-World'. It is not an activity that puts the participants in a spot but rather one that makes them Teachers in the true sense of the word.

Experiential Learning or Moral Reasoning Training
These are 2 different types of activity that we alternate where appropriate. Experiential learning helps the participants learn to take responsibility for the progress of their group. They learn a simple way of evaluating their group performance by asking and answering 3 questions when they are debriefing their experience:
1. What happened?
2. So What?
3. Now What?

Moral Reasoning Training presents participants with a dilemma that they can identify with e.g. cheating during an exam, shop-lifting, standing up a friend and so forth. They are then to decide how they would act based on limited options. The usual first response from participants would be to protest that it is not fair. This is normal because most do not like taking a moral stand so they will try their best to get out by changing the dilemma or other methods. As facilitators our job is to keep them within the parameters of the dilemma and to instill discipline in thinking through it all. When answers have been collated we will examine the reasons or the rules behind them. You see, it is not simply about coming up with the correct answer but explaining how one came up with it. This usually gives us a good idea where they are in their level of Moral reasoning. We are guided by Kohlberg's 6 stages of moral development but for the usage we normally find Stages 1 to 4 most relevant. Here are the 4 stages:
Stage 1 - Will I Get Caught?
Stage 2 - What's in it for me?
Stage 3 - How will I be recognised by the people who are important to me?
Stage 4 - I will act according to the Law.

Community Involvement Project
At the moment the participants are trying to organise a soccer match against some children from a children's home. It is strictly their imitative and we look forward to seeing them succeed.

Enjoy your weekend!
Gerard

You need chaos in your soul to give birth to a dancing star - Nietzche

Dear Team
This week we started work at the Time Out Learning Centre. TOLC is an initiative of 6 secondary schools in the Woodlands area and we are helping them to get it going by training & guiding the teachers and school counsellors through this first run. The TOLC utilizes the YMCA's Project Bridge Centre and the YMCA staff will be supporting the schools after this first run. We have also shared our methods with the YMCA staff.

9 students from 4 schools attend the TOLC instead of school. These students are on the verge of being suspended by their schools for disciplinary problems and the schools thought that it would be more helpful for them to attend a programme instead of being suspended.

The Programme will go on for 2 weeks and it runs from 8 am to 12 noon with Leong Wai at the helm. Like school, it begins with the singing of the National Anthem and the first hour is dedicated to their school work. Here is where the teachers and the school counsellors do their thing. Following which, we put the students through a series of experiential learning and moral reasoning sessions.

The participation level of the students has been very positive and one of them even showed up at 7 am, a whole hour ahead of schedule. Also, so far attendance has been full. One memorable moment was a student highlighting to the group that too much fun and laughter was distracting and unhelpful for learning. Instead of teasing him for his goody two shoes statement, his peers actually agreed and discussed the importance of focusing and listening. These students reportedly are disruptive, unmotivated and trouble-makers in school so it was really an eye-opener for the teachers present to see their cooperative side.

Another memorable moment was a boy writing a letter describing how an incident of theft had deeply affected him and reading it aloud for everyone else to hear. Both incidents demonstrated much courage and effort on the part of the boys and the group as a whole seemed like a decent bunch of students any teacher would love to teach.

However, I am really not sure if these boys will be as cooperative once they return to their schools. I would think the good side we have seen of them will still be in them but often for change to be sustained all parties concerned must make adjustments. I applaud the schools for creating TOLC, an adjustment on their part to reach students they feel are marginalised from the school system. In the longer run, the adjustments they make must be within their school environment so that such students do not have to be marginalised in the first place. It is no easy task for schools to make such changes and our little efforts like the TOLC keep us one foot in the door for us to encourage and support changes in the school environment.

Enjoy your weekend.
Gerard

The healthy man does not torture others - generally it is the tortured who turn into torturers. Carl Jung

Dear Team
This week our Juvenile Justice in Schools Team orientated 55 teachers including the Principal and Vice Principal from Naval Base Primary about the way we will be carrying out the programme in their school. A couple of weeks ago we did the same for 60 teachers from Sembawang Secondary and next week we will be conducting the orientation for 120 teachers from Greenwood Primary.

These are the 3 schools that our Juvenile Justice Programme will be based in over the next couple of years and we thought that it would be best to have the teachers understand the challenges we face and work at cooperation right from the start. Besides explaining the Family Group Conferencing Process, restorative justice principles and our methods of engaging and managing their students, we had the teachers try out some of the experiential learning games that we normally do. This proved to be a very helpful way of helping them reflect on the perception they had of their students.

During Hell's Door, several teachers complained that the task of crossing through as a group of 20 persons was impossible and we were simply 'torturing' them. Some even tried to 'bribe' or 'bully' us into widening the 'door'. Thankfully at the debrief, the teachers took no offence when we asked them to reflect how difficult it must be for their students whenever they are assigned a piece of work they believe is beyond them. Even as teachers they thought that the task we assigned them was impossible so it is very likely that students, especially those from the foundational stream usually don't feel very confident or empowered in the school environment

Another observation we pointed out was the manner they tried to 'bully' and 'bribe' us to achieve their ends. Often students do the same things to their teachers but then they will be chided or remembered as disruptive. In the end, the teachers expressed their appreciation for the manner we raised difficult issues and openly discussing them for mutual learning.

Real partnerships do require us to communicate at a deeper level. It also requires all parties to contribute towards the partnership. I am glad that there are school partners who see it this way too.

Enjoy your weekend,
Gerard

Humility is the door to every schoolhouse.

Dear Team
The focus areas for last year were schools, child protection and residential services. As we are aware, these areas are now up and running. Today, we have firm partnerships with schools, established a framework of cooperation with MCYS Child Protection Services and 3 residential facilities in full swing. Along the way, other programmes such as the Child Development Centre, Guidance Programme and Restorative Care in the Reformative Training Centre were also established. Guided by our strategic profile, we have taken on new areas and expanded existing programmes. In short, we are quite a size that enabled us to serve 6724 persons from January to December 06.

From here on, we must be even more mindful of the need to improve the quality of our work. The area of emphasis for the year will be the quality of our work and this means we must ensure that we are able to give those we serve something that is of value and relevance to them.

To do so we need to seek knowledge/learning, think deeper, plan better, develop new skills and pull together for the challenges that will come our way simply because we now serve more. e.g. If we were used to 1 incident of serious fighting or bullying per month when we had 30 children in the programme, multiply that by 4 incidents now that we have 120. That's 48 mediation tasks per year and I am sure this will have some effect on us.

Yes, the way I am presenting the figures comes across simple and even simplistic but I am just putting across the point that size does matter and the larger the number of beneficiaries, the higher the likelihood of fatigue and mistakes. We must be mindful of this and we need to respond to the challenge by better harnessing the strengths of our team and up-skilling ourselves.

Despite my many years on the job, Beyond's challenges in several programmes are also new challenges for me because we are breaking new ground. Apart from learning how to apply new helping tools for the children, youths and their families; I am also learning to lead and nurture leadership within a 117 strong staff team. All of us need to continue learning. There is no running away from it if we are to stay on the job or to sustain the range of programmes we have built over the last 18 months.

This Monday, the staff team will be coming together as a whole to lay out departmental responsibilities for the year. Meanwhile, here are some common challenges that our service departments will regularly encounter throughout the year. This information we know from our training and experience. What we have yet to experience though will be the frequency it will hit us now that we are operating at this size.

1. Infants & Early Childhood & 2. Family Service & Child Protection
• Child abuse & neglect
• Conflicts among caregivers
• Domestic violence
• Substance Dependency
3. Children, Youth & Restorative Justice & 4. Residential Care & Guidance
• Sex Related Offences
• Abusive Relationships & Prostitution
• Runaways
• Drugs, gang violence & theft
• Bullying, aggression, insubordination
This work week started on Wednesday and so it is really short but within these 3 days the cases that were presented to me had elements of the above issues. It's a new year but the problems we encounter seem timeless.

Wishing us all much compassion, strength, wisdom and support for the year ahead.
Gerard

Asian wisdom tells us that we should walk down the path of life prepared for the worst evil to jump out and attack us at any moment. We are also told to walk down the path in life & be prepared for the greatest joy to jump out and embrace us. We are further told to walk down the path of life and be prepared for absolutely nothing to happen. AND we are told to hold all three of these attitudes at the same time.