Another Week Beyond – 2304

Dear friends,

Hope you had many joyful moments with family and friends this Lunar New Year season. During a family circle discussion this week, we were reminded that family is also a commitment to care and friends are an important source of support.

After sharing how they spent their holidays, and exchanging festive greetings, Zoe shared that her husband had been in hospital for some weeks now and she had been caring for her children on a reduced family income. It was clearly a very difficult situation, but Zoe communicated her challenge in a matter-of-fact way. It appeared that to fulfil her duty as the family’s caregiver, she needed to remain strong, collected and committed.  

The other women were surprised by Zoe’s revelation, but they were sensitive enough to mirror her disposition. They sensed that Zoe wanted to be  acknowledged for her resolve and did not want any expression of sadness undermining it. So, they comforted her by praising her strength, and one participant declared “Zoe represents the power of mothers that will do whatever it takes for the good of their children.”

We were thinking that given her circumstances, Zoe must be allowed to cry but the participants showed us that friends do not dictate what is appropriate behaviour but to simply be present respectfully. That moment also reminded us that our primary role in these Family Circles is that of a meeting convenor who takes notes and provides logistical support. Those in the circle draw on their pooled resources, their combined social capital, and their collective wisdom to support each other. Occasionally, we draw their attention to available resources, but they decide if they want them. 

Toward the end of the meeting, someone shared that her social worker was curious what the Family Circle was about, and she replied, “We are a community, we share about each other’s life, we help each other. We share about how we cook, how we can survive our difficult lives.” She was proud when the social worker commented that the relationships within the circle seemed very strong.

Another then spontaneously added, “Outside I have no friends. Only my husband is my friend,” and immediately more affirmed the friendship they enjoyed. “Thanks to Family Circles, I am brave enough to make decisions. I mix around with other people, I know I don’t have to be isolated and alone in doing things,” was another response as well as “When I listen to other people and hear how they face the same struggles as me, I ask myself ‘If they can overcome it, why can’t I? Why am I so afraid?’ So, I really hope family circles will continue.”

The Chinese New Year is about family, friendship, and prosperity for all which are what these Family Circles aim to facilitate. We wish all our Family Circles a very successful Year of the Rabbit.

Gerard

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PAST AWB POSTS

2443 – Why Do You Work?

I was visiting Meelah, a resident who has led food drives and many social activities to enhance the wellbeing of her neighbours.   I listened intently, as she expressed her concern for families that would require assistance. I was   touched that she continued to keep track of so many lives in spite of her own declining health. She donned on the new spectacles she had recently afforded and checked her reflection using her phone before looking at me expectantly for a response. “How? I look like a teacher or not?” She exclaimed while tucking some strands of hair behind her ears.

Read more >

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Every morning, like clockwork, four-year-old Lisa (not her real name) stops by her neighbour’s flat on her way to preschool. She stands at the gate, waiting patiently to say “Hello” to the elderly man who lived there. Known for his stern demeanour and habit of scolding noisy children, this Uncle wasn’t someone most would approach. At first, he ignored her. Undeterred, she stands there, day after day, offering her simple greeting. Then one day, something changed. The Uncle returned her greeting. Soon after, they began sharing quiet moments – sitting together, eating biscuits, and watching TV —always under the watchful

Read more >

2441 – Looking for Treasure not Dirt

As a community worker, I knock on doors to introduce myself and to explore how residents may contribute toward the wellbeing of their neighbourhood.  By chatting with them, I discover their talents, aspirations and values. Of course, not everyone talks to me when I knock but it is always so rewarding when they do. Last week, I met 98-year-old Madam Wong and her son who is in his 70s. I learnt that Madam Wong shares her art and craft skills with the older residents in her community.  What she enjoys doing most and is really good at is “weaving” together

Read more >