Another Week Beyond – 1921

Dear Friends

My relationships with my neighbours was okay but now not good because of my children and their friends. They complain a lot that my house is noisy,” responded a mother of 5 when asked what issues children in her neighbourhood faced.  She added, “I know we have to be considerate but then where should my kids hang out?”  This mother was concerned that her children would get into trouble if she allowed them to spend their free time unsupervised. She had noticed other children in her neighbourhood smoking and felt that it was only a matter of time before they got into more serious trouble.

Last Saturday, 10 residents agreed to attend a meeting to explore how they may better care for the children in their neighbourhood. Over the past 2 months, they have told us of children shoplifting, missing school and as a result failing in school or getting into trouble with the police. However, only 6 showed up which suggested that we did not really have their commitment in the first place but we will do well to appreciate that such is the pace and rhythm of a community. Hence, we proceeded with a view that every effort helps to create a momentum that would eventually draw more people on board.

After a round of introductions and reiterating the purpose of keeping children out of trouble, we asked the group what makes them happy and positive about their neighbourhood. We learnt that people were already supporting each other and looking out for each other’s children, “When there is a problem, people come down, discuss and sort things out. Community is one big family and my friends’ children are also mine,” one shared and another gave an example how a neighbour spent much time assisting her to get into her home when she lost her key.  She felt that there was a sense of connection among people and this made her happy.

When we got to discussing the issues, a 26-year-old man recalled how his grandmother chased him around the block twice and stopped him from entering the home when she discovered that he had picked up smoking. Now that he is older, he appreciates his grandmother’s actions but back then it got him more rebellious. He felt that youth needed to be approached gently but it may be difficult for someone who is still smoking to render the advice not to do so. He also understood why young people believed that smoking was cool, and it sounded like he was torn between doing the right thing as an adult and identifying with them.

Change is always difficult and to stay the course, it helps to be aware of what is at stake in its absence.  “If things just continue, something bad will happen. Since we all are like a family, it will impact the whole community. A small theft will become a robbery. A lie will become a scam. If everything continues, our youth will just go in,” one stated passionately.  She then wondered aloud about the need for one to be imprisoned before deciding to change as by making small changes, youth can avoid prison.

Discussing problematic situations can be discouraging as one tends to feel rather helpless, but this group understood the significance and strength of people coming together. “Let’s go out together and if my sister does not listen to me, she might listen to an older person who is a parent. Once a month will be great and it does not have to be a big thing. I believe when people know each other better things will be better.” was a view that others resonated with.

When helping professionals like us look at such a situation, we tend to regard these children as lacking self-esteem or to suspect their caregivers as being neglectful or inadequate. Perhaps, what’s inadequate is not their will or ability to parent but simply the support and positive regard from those of us tasked to support them as well as some compassionate understanding of their circumstances from our wider society.   One mother spoke for all as she said, “I just like the neighbourhood kids to be nearby so we know where they are and can relax a little. Looking after each other’s kids and youth makes me happy because when a child in my community succeeds, I feel so proud.”

Enjoy your week.

Gerard

“May our effort, confidence and concern for others be the altar from which we pray for personal abundance.” ― Laura Teresa Marquez

PAST AWB POSTS

2610 – Oranges, Dates, and Party Plates

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2609 – How We Spend Our Time

Story contributed by Anne Marie, Resource Mobilisation It has been some years since we last stood behind a volunteer recruitment booth in a school setting, and so earlier this month, when we were invited to take part in Nanyang Technological University’s Social Impact Week, it felt like a return of sorts. For two afternoons, we found ourselves in the middle of student activity, surrounded by clubs, social enterprises and fellow agencies. We were there with a simple invitation: to talk about volunteering, particularly in support of the older youths in our academic programmes. At our booth, we asked visitors to

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2608 – Holding The Middle

Written by The Beyond Editorial Team She has always cared for others. Long before we knew her, Mdm Sng* was already checking in on elderly neighbours, helping them navigate services, passing along information, gathering what they needed. When we began working in the area, she reached out quickly. Not for herself. For others. Over time, though, something shifted. There was no single incident. Just the quiet accumulation of strain. Our team had become leaner. Priorities evolved. Expectations were not always spoken clearly. Along the way, misunderstandings surfaced. Community tensions are rarely linear. They sit in the middle of relationships –

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2607 – Refreshing Our Purpose

Story Contributed by Shariffah, Community Worker In January, we gathered again in a familiar circle. Since then, three Capability Building sessions have brought together 26 Neighbourhood Leaders and Community Volunteers from three neighbourhoods. It was not a workshop in the traditional sense. It was a space to pause, reflect and ask ourselves what kind of community we are shaping together. The most recent session, Refreshing Our Purpose, did exactly that. It slowed the momentum of activity and returned us to the questions underneath the work: What are we building? For whom? And how do we know it is truly shared?

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2606 – Still Here

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2605 – It Takes Time

Written by Wilson, Community Worker I first met Jamie* early last year. She sat close to her mother and said very little. When I asked her questions, her mother often answered first, then turned to Jamie to check if she wanted to add anything. Jamie listened carefully, nodding, offering short replies when she felt able to. Her mother had approached us for support because Jamie was no longer in education or employment. Since leaving school, Jamie spent most of her time at home. Apart from attending school previously, she rarely went out, and once that routine ended, her days became

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2604 – When Learning is Small Enough to Notice

Story Contributed by Jie Ying, Community Worker Last Saturday, we gathered to mark the end of a small Early Learning Programme class at Lengkok Bahru. The class began in June last year with seven children. Over time, some families moved on as needs shifted and priorities changed. By January, three children remained. We did not see this as a shortcoming. Community work often teaches us that participation ebbs and flows, and that small numbers are not a sign of failure but an invitation to pay closer attention. With fewer people in the room, there is more to notice. Parents sat

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2603 – When Youths Take the Field

Story Contributed by Yik, Resource Mobilisation In December last year, a small group of children gathered at Delta Sports Centre for a football session. There were six of them, between four and nine years old. One of the youngest arrived with his mother, staying close as the day unfolded. The session wasn’t run by adults or coaches brought in from outside. It was planned and led entirely by Learning Coaches – youths from the community who already spend their weeks supporting younger children with learning. Over time, these youths have become familiar faces to families, people children listen to and

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PAST AWB POSTS

2610 – Oranges, Dates, and Party Plates

Story Contributed by Dira, Neighbourhood Leader Some evenings come together in unexpected ways. Our monthly community birthday celebration in Ang Mo Kio happened to fall at a time when Chinese New Year was still in the air and Ramadan was already underway. So the evening became a mix of all three – oranges for the New Year, dates for those breaking fast, and party plates laid out for the children celebrating their birthdays that month. Close to a hundred residents – seniors, adults and children – came downstairs to join the gathering. A few of us residents helped organise the

Read more >

2609 – How We Spend Our Time

Story contributed by Anne Marie, Resource Mobilisation It has been some years since we last stood behind a volunteer recruitment booth in a school setting, and so earlier this month, when we were invited to take part in Nanyang Technological University’s Social Impact Week, it felt like a return of sorts. For two afternoons, we found ourselves in the middle of student activity, surrounded by clubs, social enterprises and fellow agencies. We were there with a simple invitation: to talk about volunteering, particularly in support of the older youths in our academic programmes. At our booth, we asked visitors to

Read more >

2608 – Holding The Middle

Written by The Beyond Editorial Team She has always cared for others. Long before we knew her, Mdm Sng* was already checking in on elderly neighbours, helping them navigate services, passing along information, gathering what they needed. When we began working in the area, she reached out quickly. Not for herself. For others. Over time, though, something shifted. There was no single incident. Just the quiet accumulation of strain. Our team had become leaner. Priorities evolved. Expectations were not always spoken clearly. Along the way, misunderstandings surfaced. Community tensions are rarely linear. They sit in the middle of relationships –

Read more >