Another Week Beyond – 1851

Dear Friends,
Early this year, we came across Danny, a 5-year-old boy entertaining himself with some building blocks outside his flat. His grandma who was his care-giver told us that this was him at his best behaviour. She elaborated that it took a lot out of her to care for Danny because ever so often he would throw a ferocious tantrum for no rhyme or reason and he will be hitting anything and anyone in his way. Grandma was also concerned that Danny hardly spoke and when he did, it was hard to make out what he was saying. As she confided in us that her son (Danny’s father), was incarcerated, Danny started screaming and he calmed down only after she led him into the flat and offered him a drink.

Challenging behaviours from children are distress signals that their basic needs have not been met. So, we need to respond appropriately but frequently because it is just too distressing, we do our best to keep the child under control without eventually recognizing what he or she needed. Today, Danny is speaking in complete sentences; seldom does he throw a tantrum and Grandma reports that caring for him is a lot more manageable. For the past 8 months, through the generosity of The Lodge of Saint George No. 1152, Danny received the gift of discovery. The Lodge funded a phonics programme for 19 children which Danny participated and apart from discovering the joy of language, music and friendship, I think he discovered that he was capable and lovable.

3 weeks ago, at the end of the ceremonies she was hosting, Surinah, 18-years-old asked the audience for a few minutes of their attention before they left for the buffet table. She had written a note of thanks to a colleague and she wanted to read it out. She shared that she could not recognize herself now that she is a youth leader in the neighbourhood and no longer the rebellious teen who did not give a hoot about others or her community. “I admit that I can be a huge pain in the …. but I am thankful that you never gave up on me. Thank you for always being there even when I pushed you away.” When she was done, she passed the handwritten note to our colleague with a big hug.

While I was watching, I was reminded that we are all gifts to each other. Each of us can enrich another’s life in our own unique way and in turn be enriched by the encounter if not the relationship. This being the season of giving, it would do well to be a little mindful that with some thought we can impress on another that they are capable, lovable and loved.

Wishing one and all every blessing that the Christmas season brings.

Sincerely,

Gerard

“Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect.” – Oren Arnold.

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2610 – Oranges, Dates, and Party Plates

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2609 – How We Spend Our Time

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Written by The Beyond Editorial Team She has always cared for others. Long before we knew her, Mdm Sng* was already checking in on elderly neighbours, helping them navigate services, passing along information, gathering what they needed. When we began working in the area, she reached out quickly. Not for herself. For others. Over time, though, something shifted. There was no single incident. Just the quiet accumulation of strain. Our team had become leaner. Priorities evolved. Expectations were not always spoken clearly. Along the way, misunderstandings surfaced. Community tensions are rarely linear. They sit in the middle of relationships –

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2607 – Refreshing Our Purpose

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2606 – Still Here

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2605 – It Takes Time

Written by Wilson, Community Worker I first met Jamie* early last year. She sat close to her mother and said very little. When I asked her questions, her mother often answered first, then turned to Jamie to check if she wanted to add anything. Jamie listened carefully, nodding, offering short replies when she felt able to. Her mother had approached us for support because Jamie was no longer in education or employment. Since leaving school, Jamie spent most of her time at home. Apart from attending school previously, she rarely went out, and once that routine ended, her days became

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2604 – When Learning is Small Enough to Notice

Story Contributed by Jie Ying, Community Worker Last Saturday, we gathered to mark the end of a small Early Learning Programme class at Lengkok Bahru. The class began in June last year with seven children. Over time, some families moved on as needs shifted and priorities changed. By January, three children remained. We did not see this as a shortcoming. Community work often teaches us that participation ebbs and flows, and that small numbers are not a sign of failure but an invitation to pay closer attention. With fewer people in the room, there is more to notice. Parents sat

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2603 – When Youths Take the Field

Story Contributed by Yik, Resource Mobilisation In December last year, a small group of children gathered at Delta Sports Centre for a football session. There were six of them, between four and nine years old. One of the youngest arrived with his mother, staying close as the day unfolded. The session wasn’t run by adults or coaches brought in from outside. It was planned and led entirely by Learning Coaches – youths from the community who already spend their weeks supporting younger children with learning. Over time, these youths have become familiar faces to families, people children listen to and

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PAST AWB POSTS

2610 – Oranges, Dates, and Party Plates

Story Contributed by Dira, Neighbourhood Leader Some evenings come together in unexpected ways. Our monthly community birthday celebration in Ang Mo Kio happened to fall at a time when Chinese New Year was still in the air and Ramadan was already underway. So the evening became a mix of all three – oranges for the New Year, dates for those breaking fast, and party plates laid out for the children celebrating their birthdays that month. Close to a hundred residents – seniors, adults and children – came downstairs to join the gathering. A few of us residents helped organise the

Read more >

2609 – How We Spend Our Time

Story contributed by Anne Marie, Resource Mobilisation It has been some years since we last stood behind a volunteer recruitment booth in a school setting, and so earlier this month, when we were invited to take part in Nanyang Technological University’s Social Impact Week, it felt like a return of sorts. For two afternoons, we found ourselves in the middle of student activity, surrounded by clubs, social enterprises and fellow agencies. We were there with a simple invitation: to talk about volunteering, particularly in support of the older youths in our academic programmes. At our booth, we asked visitors to

Read more >

2608 – Holding The Middle

Written by The Beyond Editorial Team She has always cared for others. Long before we knew her, Mdm Sng* was already checking in on elderly neighbours, helping them navigate services, passing along information, gathering what they needed. When we began working in the area, she reached out quickly. Not for herself. For others. Over time, though, something shifted. There was no single incident. Just the quiet accumulation of strain. Our team had become leaner. Priorities evolved. Expectations were not always spoken clearly. Along the way, misunderstandings surfaced. Community tensions are rarely linear. They sit in the middle of relationships –

Read more >