Another Week Beyond – 2139

Dear friends,

After 2 weeks of being dutifully at work and keeping to his curfew, an 18-year-old we shall call Ron, quit his job, and was intoxicated a large part of the day.  Those who cared for him were heart-broken and angry that their efforts at supporting him to show the Court that he is worthy of being placed on probation appears to have come to nought. Ron has an outstanding bill of $1614 for the subsided legal representation his family had applied for him but his family and friends are thinking of calling off the arrangement.  “Just let him go in and we don’t have to fight anymore!” they echoed.

Nonetheless, his grandmother, siblings and a friend accepted our invitation to discuss the matter further. To ensure that grandmother understood Ron’s situation accurately, a volunteer who spoke her language was present. However, the discussion was difficult as it seemed to be weighed down by feelings of defiance, resignation, hurt, betrayal, disappointment, helplessness, indifference, and anger. Holding space for intense emotions is not an easy thing to do and without a command of the language that those in pain understand and prefer, the task at hand was even harder as we literally did not have the words to reflect the feelings in the room. Without acknowledgement and empathy for the feelings, it would be difficult to make a connection with those who had expressed them.

A different approach was needed and so our volunteer decided to share his story with the hope that it would dislodge those present from the strong feelings and positions that prevented them from cooperating with each other.  “So, I have been imprisoned and I have been caned too,” he began and immediately captured everyone’s attention. “The only person who visited me was my mother who had to travel for at least 45 mins on a bus and then walk a distance to the Changi Prison Complex. A whole day was lost just to see me for 20 minutes.”

He then shared that he had resolved to care for his mother upon his release, but he is unable to do so now because his mother has dementia; does not recognise him or his siblings.  He had looked forward to repaying his mother’s love and spending quality time with her but it’s too late. So, he vowed to treasure the family he has and is now very close to his siblings and spends a tremendous amount of time at home with his children and spouse.

 “I have hurt my mother and those who cared for me badly because when I was 18, I was strong, fearless and did not imagine that any harm could come my way. But today, I feel like I have wasted half my life and I am volunteering because I do not want others especially youths to waste their life like I have.” Grandmother was listening intently, and she exclaimed, “I don’t want my grandson to go anymore, I thought I wanted him to go because I really cannot control him and he has been giving me so much heartache. I have been taking care of my 3 grandchildren since they were babies and I love him very much.”

Ron was moved and he promised to return to work and to stop drinking excessively. Our volunteer then told   Ron that he went for a run every Tuesday at the MacRitchie Reservoir and he boxed at a gym on Saturdays and would like Ron to join him. Ron was interested and agreed to join him but when the volunteer told him to get his running gear because it was Tuesday, Ron was a little shocked, “Huh! So fast?  I am not ready.” Nevertheless, Ron will be at the gym tomorrow for boxing.

Wishing you good health and peace of mind.

Sincerely,

Gerard

I let people see the cracks in my life. We can’t be phony. We’ve got to keep it real. -Charles R. Swindoll

PAST AWB POSTS

2610 – Oranges, Dates, and Party Plates

Story Contributed by Dira, Neighbourhood Leader Some evenings come together in unexpected ways. Our monthly community birthday celebration in Ang Mo Kio happened to fall at a time when Chinese New Year was still in the air and Ramadan was already underway. So the evening became a mix of all three – oranges for the New Year, dates for those breaking fast, and party plates laid out for the children celebrating their birthdays that month. Close to a hundred residents – seniors, adults and children – came downstairs to join the gathering. A few of us residents helped organise the

Read More »

2609 – How We Spend Our Time

Story contributed by Anne Marie, Resource Mobilisation It has been some years since we last stood behind a volunteer recruitment booth in a school setting, and so earlier this month, when we were invited to take part in Nanyang Technological University’s Social Impact Week, it felt like a return of sorts. For two afternoons, we found ourselves in the middle of student activity, surrounded by clubs, social enterprises and fellow agencies. We were there with a simple invitation: to talk about volunteering, particularly in support of the older youths in our academic programmes. At our booth, we asked visitors to

Read More »

2608 – Holding The Middle

Written by The Beyond Editorial Team She has always cared for others. Long before we knew her, Mdm Sng* was already checking in on elderly neighbours, helping them navigate services, passing along information, gathering what they needed. When we began working in the area, she reached out quickly. Not for herself. For others. Over time, though, something shifted. There was no single incident. Just the quiet accumulation of strain. Our team had become leaner. Priorities evolved. Expectations were not always spoken clearly. Along the way, misunderstandings surfaced. Community tensions are rarely linear. They sit in the middle of relationships –

Read More »

2607 – Refreshing Our Purpose

Story Contributed by Shariffah, Community Worker In January, we gathered again in a familiar circle. Since then, three Capability Building sessions have brought together 26 Neighbourhood Leaders and Community Volunteers from three neighbourhoods. It was not a workshop in the traditional sense. It was a space to pause, reflect and ask ourselves what kind of community we are shaping together. The most recent session, Refreshing Our Purpose, did exactly that. It slowed the momentum of activity and returned us to the questions underneath the work: What are we building? For whom? And how do we know it is truly shared?

Read More »

2606 – Still Here

As shared by Daybet, Former Beyond Youth Twenty years had passed since Daybet last walked through the doors of Beyond’s office. The space felt smaller than he remembered, but not unfamiliar. Before he could fully take it in, he saw a face that pulled him straight back into memory. “Uncle George!” George paused. It took a second. Then recognition landed – fittingly, on the very day he marked 23 years of working at Beyond. What followed was the easy rhythm of reunion: updates exchanged, laughter over half-forgotten details, stories filling in the years that had slipped by. “You remember Daybet?”

Read More »

2605 – It Takes Time

Written by Wilson, Community Worker I first met Jamie* early last year. She sat close to her mother and said very little. When I asked her questions, her mother often answered first, then turned to Jamie to check if she wanted to add anything. Jamie listened carefully, nodding, offering short replies when she felt able to. Her mother had approached us for support because Jamie was no longer in education or employment. Since leaving school, Jamie spent most of her time at home. Apart from attending school previously, she rarely went out, and once that routine ended, her days became

Read More »

2604 – When Learning is Small Enough to Notice

Story Contributed by Jie Ying, Community Worker Last Saturday, we gathered to mark the end of a small Early Learning Programme class at Lengkok Bahru. The class began in June last year with seven children. Over time, some families moved on as needs shifted and priorities changed. By January, three children remained. We did not see this as a shortcoming. Community work often teaches us that participation ebbs and flows, and that small numbers are not a sign of failure but an invitation to pay closer attention. With fewer people in the room, there is more to notice. Parents sat

Read More »

2603 – When Youths Take the Field

Story Contributed by Yik, Resource Mobilisation In December last year, a small group of children gathered at Delta Sports Centre for a football session. There were six of them, between four and nine years old. One of the youngest arrived with his mother, staying close as the day unfolded. The session wasn’t run by adults or coaches brought in from outside. It was planned and led entirely by Learning Coaches – youths from the community who already spend their weeks supporting younger children with learning. Over time, these youths have become familiar faces to families, people children listen to and

Read More »

PAST AWB POSTS

2610 – Oranges, Dates, and Party Plates

Story Contributed by Dira, Neighbourhood Leader Some evenings come together in unexpected ways. Our monthly community birthday celebration in Ang Mo Kio happened to fall at a time when Chinese New Year was still in the air and Ramadan was already underway. So the evening became a mix of all three – oranges for the New Year, dates for those breaking fast, and party plates laid out for the children celebrating their birthdays that month. Close to a hundred residents – seniors, adults and children – came downstairs to join the gathering. A few of us residents helped organise the

Read more >

2609 – How We Spend Our Time

Story contributed by Anne Marie, Resource Mobilisation It has been some years since we last stood behind a volunteer recruitment booth in a school setting, and so earlier this month, when we were invited to take part in Nanyang Technological University’s Social Impact Week, it felt like a return of sorts. For two afternoons, we found ourselves in the middle of student activity, surrounded by clubs, social enterprises and fellow agencies. We were there with a simple invitation: to talk about volunteering, particularly in support of the older youths in our academic programmes. At our booth, we asked visitors to

Read more >

2608 – Holding The Middle

Written by The Beyond Editorial Team She has always cared for others. Long before we knew her, Mdm Sng* was already checking in on elderly neighbours, helping them navigate services, passing along information, gathering what they needed. When we began working in the area, she reached out quickly. Not for herself. For others. Over time, though, something shifted. There was no single incident. Just the quiet accumulation of strain. Our team had become leaner. Priorities evolved. Expectations were not always spoken clearly. Along the way, misunderstandings surfaced. Community tensions are rarely linear. They sit in the middle of relationships –

Read more >