Dear friends,
The 5 Family Circles met, and we were most encouraged when members of 1 circle told us that it was the best session they had so far, elaborating that they were no longer feeling awkward with each other and really enjoyed their conversation. This circle was meeting for the third time and seemed to have acted on a gentle provocation we introduced at the beginning of the session, “Why is it that people in the group only seem comfortable with those from their own neighbourhood?” We then said that we would like them to run the meeting and left the zoom room.
When we came together 30 minutes later, members told us they had a good time getting to know each other and realised that they had much in common, be they aspirations, fears, or challenges. Listening to each was also mutually inspiring as “success stories” presented by others, suggested that they too could overcome their own challenges.
As programme coordinators, we have been learning as well and currently, we see our role as creating the conditions that fuel mutual support. Firstly, it is to make the success of participants highly visible for members of their own circle. We are informed by the Positive Deviance Approach which believes that among people confronting similar challenges, there will be individuals who will overcome quicker than others and by studying them, others can learn and adapt to achieve their own success.
There was a mother who proudly showed others a little notebook she was using to keep track of her daily expenditure. She explained that doing so, reduced her anxiety as she experienced some control over her funds and could even accumulate some loose change to buy her children the occasional treat. Those listening were really impressed and complimented her on her discipline. Initially, they felt it was a difficult habit to adopt but after listening to other practices in thrift, 2 members told the group that they will get a notebook and try it out for themselves.
The other 2 conditions we work at facilitating are friendships and the experience of progress in reaching short-term financial goals. To help participants monitor their financial goals, we are working at providing every participant a simple dashboard of their self-reported efforts in relation to the collective efforts of everyone in the programmme. We have noticed that there is usually much energy when participants are talking about money which can be harnessed for cooperation on income-generating opportunities.
Finally, while our monthly meetings have facilitated friendships among people who did not know each other, we now see it as a space to allow members to introduce their friends. We figured that natural support networks support our endeavour as they too possess the solutions and expertise to best address their own problems.
A mother introduced a neighbour and was flushed with pride when the other members welcomed her friend warmly. She explained that her friend was initially reluctant as she was not sure if she could manage virtual meetings or provide data online. After joining the Circle, she is now quite confident she can guide her friend to do so. “Having more friends can only be good?” she declared to her friend and others in the circle.
Wishing you good health and peace of mind.
Sincerely,
Gerard
“When we are dealing with human beings, no truth has reality by itself; it is always dependent upon the reality of the immediate relationship.”
― Rollo May
