Story contributed by Jie Ying, Community Worker
The first time I met Ina*, she offered me tea, made sure her children were occupied, and only then sat down – hands folded neatly in her lap, as if bracing herself for a conversation she had practised in her head many times before.
Her husband had recently been incarcerated. They still keep in close contact, writing e-letters about the children and the little things that make up their days. In the meantime, she’s managing everything at home – school routines, bills, meals, and the emotional load. She’d always been steady behind the scenes. Now, she was at the center of everything.
Reaching out for help wasn’t easy for someone who’s used to keeping things private. But she did it anyway. Not because she had run out of strength, but because she knew her family needed more than what one pair of hands could manage. And because she had children watching her closely, especially her teenage daughter, who often reminds her, “You don’t have to do this alone, Mama. You have us.”
She shared earnestly, “My children are my source of strength. They keep me going on the hard days, and they are the reason I keep taking the next step.”
When we spoke, she had been looking into digital literacy courses. She needed to search for flexible job opportunities that fit her caregiving responsibility and take on the mantle of the breadwinner, even though she had not been in the workforce for decades. She had been asking neighbours where to find resources – neighbours who were always willing to share what they knew.
And she still makes time to volunteer and contribute to her community. When someone asked why she keeps showing up, she said, “It helps to be around people. And I want to give back when I can.”
It’s often said that community is the first safety net – and it’s true. But that only works when a foundation has been built. Ina’s neighbours weren’t strangers. They were people she’d shared meals with, crossed paths with at school pick-ups, spoken to at block events. They didn’t need to fix anything. They just needed to be there, and they were.
Ina is still figuring things out. But she’s not doing it alone. And that matters, because the truth is, all of us need help at some point. The question is whether we live in a place where asking for it feels possible. And where someone on the other end knows how to say, “I’ve got you. Let’s figure this out together.”