Written by Wilson, Community Worker
I first met Jamie* early last year. She sat close to her mother and said very little. When I asked her questions, her mother often answered first, then turned to Jamie to check if she wanted to add anything. Jamie listened carefully, nodding, offering short replies when she felt able to.
Her mother had approached us for support because Jamie was no longer in education or employment. Since leaving school, Jamie spent most of her time at home. Apart from attending school previously, she rarely went out, and once that routine ended, her days became increasingly contained within the house.
Jamie was clear that returning to school was not something she wanted. We spoke about other possibilities, including vocational training, and she agreed to attend an interview for a programme that included mental health support. After the interview, she decided not to proceed. When mental health support was raised more directly, she said she did not feel it applied to her.
The visits continued. During home visits, conversations often centred on her sister or her mother’s concerns. From time to time, I checked in with Jamie, asking about her thoughts on work or training. Occasionally, an idea would surface and seem possible, only to fall away again. Months passed in small exchanges and familiar routines.
Earlier this year, during a home visit, Jamie spoke more than she ever had before. She shared that leaving school had not been about a lack of interest or ability, but a fear of talking to people. She explained that this fear made it difficult to complete her internship. She also shared that she had once secured an interview at a fast-food outlet, but decided not to attend.
When I asked when this fear began, Jamie spoke about her secondary school years. Someone had impersonated her on an anonymous social media platform, which damaged her friendships. This led to bullying and ostracism. The school intervened, arranging counselling and a separate learning arrangement so she could continue her lessons away from her classmates.
Jamie shared that while these measures were meant to help, the fear stayed with her. Interacting with others continued to feel overwhelming.
Things improved when she moved on to tertiary education. She completed two years of study, supported by a classmate who took the time to befriend her. However, when her course required an internship that involved regular interaction with others, it became difficult for her to continue. She eventually dropped out.
With a clearer understanding of Jamie’s experience, I raised the idea of mental health support again, this time in relation to her fear of interacting with others and where it stemmed from. She listened, considered it, and agreed.
When I later asked what made it easier for her to share now, she replied, “I got used to you.”
Sometimes, change does not come from doing more. It comes from staying long enough for someone to feel safe to speak.
*Not her real name